I'm Sorry.

Recently God has brought it to my attention that I might have been a little preachy on this media format.

And like one of my all time greatest lyrical genius heroes, Stevie, I'm just writing to say:

I'm Sorry.

Maybe I've been unintentionally fronting as if I have it all together. I don't. I'm just as shaky as the stupid body glue that incorrectly holds me together.

Crud, I'm just like every other mom out there I hope and pray. I have no idea how to be intentional and forget 3/4 of the time to pray to be. And when I remember to pray about being intentional I'm probably unintentionally being a selfish twit.

I'm a lukewarm mess, y'all.

Moms, I am sorry for venting about your various "fronts" when really, I have them too.

Can you please forgive me?

I'm praying about this and trying to step up my daily quiet time game. I'm 2 for 4 this week. I came across this wonderful blog that really does inspire as the name implies: InspiredtoAction.com

This has really helped me find the track to get back on in regards to having a daily QT. Again, I'm not fronting that I have been having a "daily" QT, but I did get to enjoy it twice this week.

And on those days I saw marked improvement in efficiency. I would attest that the early-rising technique does help.

Do I sleep in when I hear my iPhone's Bell Towers? Oh, heck yes I do. But then I eventually roll out.

Today I accidentally time traveled and read ahead in the glorious, My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers, and here's what I loved:
"God can do nothing for me, until I get to the limit of the possible."

You see, this is where I'd want to interject about my weaknesses and reaching that limit (daily) and how God has helped me to persevere and on and on, but maybe that's where I'm being "preachy."

The hersbernd is actually the one that may have slightly pointed it out. And I thank him for that. Sure, I had to pry it out of his clam-like, feelings vault, but I appreciate his honesty.

So whatever that limit of possibility is for you, be thankful for it. That's when God gets to "show out."

Too much?

A Bidding War & The Best Salsa of all Times

Apparently, there's some sort of bidding war happening in our neighborhood.

I guess I better back up and explain. We are putting our house on the market soon in an attempt to sell it and get a home that might accommodate a growing (God willing) family. And I felt really weird typing that. Like presumptuous and stuff.

Like I'm so bold to know what God is telling me? Or leading us?

What am I a dolphin? DO I HAVE A DORSAL FIN!?!? Ace Ventura fans? No? 

I did hear a lady on the radio say that as long as we are seeking God's will then we are pretty much in line with it already. I need to exegeses that when I stop looking up what the word "exegeses" means.

She also recommended to pray that God would "lead us in paths of righteousness." So I'm trying to do a little of that too when I remember.

How come everyone else thinks of these things when they pray? I pray stuff like:

"Lord, please don't let me sweat or say something horrible and stupid- horritupid- ha ha that's funny, I'm hungry. Amen."

Whatever. I do know that praying back Scripture is a good thing.

So we are almost done "depersonalizing" our home to get it show-ready. And I have heard things.

Things such as:

Houses in our area are selling in less than a day.
They aren't even on the market- there's just a sign in the yard.
AND people having bidding fights over prices- as in offering more than the sellers are asking.
AND they be paying in cash.

So, does that mean drug dealers are buying these homes? Dangit.

We can barely buy Leelah a dress or a stinkin' bag of mulch with cash- we do cash only because we are Dave Ramsey folk- but crap. And no, we will not be paying cash for a home. That's in the future. Just like Dippin Dots.

I have pledged on Facebook- so that's totally legit- that I will NOT complain at any point during this process of selling and buying a home. It really bothers me when people complain about home buying/selling- there are people that are homeless and people that would love to be in such a place to buy a home or rather, even set foot in a home like ours.

Can you tell that I probably annoy the everlovin' spit out of my husband??? I annoy him I'm sure because I always bring up the destitute, but I can't help it!

"But in all things I will pray with thanksgiving (and that stupid way I do as aforementioned)...."  So that is the mindset I'm taking.

Some people are telling us we are nuts. I agree. Just once though I would like to do things the normal way. But normal for us is not having to pay for 2 houses at once, unlike every other Katy-ite. So alas, we might take up trainhopping.

If we don't sell or the door closes, then at least we will have a cleaner, more streamlined home. Right?

And maybe I should stop telling people how great our school is? Shutup Gillian!!!!

So, no. I will NOT tell you what the best salsa ever made is and where you can find it! You can't make me!!

I will say that it is so good, I bought 3 jars recently. 2 for me. 1 for a gift. I have since opened the gift salsa to enjoy for myself. I don't like that side of me, but there it is. 

Extracurricular Idols

There is something going on where I reside that disturbs my soul, and I'm not talking about all the burger joints opening up - can we please get some variety in Katy, TX? I am excited about Macaroni House- whatever that is! and Carrabba's! Yo, those are just down my street! I might walk there- HAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAAHHAAA oh I kill me!

Let me first say what I believe to be happening is immense pressure put upon moms and dads to achieve __________ and our kids to be masters at ___________.

I know that I am not making some new insight that will be published in some journal of new insights by saying that we are pushing our kids too hard.

I'm blown away at the overinvolvement of sports/extras here. Particularly at "Clubs" and "Companies" and "Pro" and "Top Tier Paying Hundreds a Month to Play Sport/Dance/Cheer Group." 

How do I bring this up without sounding biased or judgey? I pray I don't come across as such.

Let me just tell you as a one-kidder Mom, because moms with only 1 kid know so much, we pray we will not be making an idol of our child and we pray we do not make idols for our child.

I hear one way or the other all the time from girls in middle school or high school or even elementary ages:
"Cheer was my life. But then I was injured, and I didn't know what to live for."
So, is it safe to say that cheering is an idol here?

"Please pray that I will make the team! I don't know what I will do if I don't."
 SO MUCH PRESSURE. How about just be a kid and go to school and hang out with friends?
Oh wait, all those friends are playing volleyball. In a city an hour away. On Sunday.

"Oh she has to make this team, or she can't get a scholarship."
I want to understand this so much. I do. I understand that college is completely unaffordable for many.

I don't mean to pull what Jon Acuff calls a "Jesus Juke" on you guys, but doesn't God provide the scholarships ultimately?

My mindset needs to be centered on my kid's activities for why?
Don't you see moms and dads and countrymen alike, that if OUR focus is on these activities by: driving them to and fro,
skipping church on Sunday to partake in such and such tournament,
spending TONS on this and that and private this, and uniforms that,
talking about it incessantly,
forsaking schoolwork for it,
living out our dreams through them (so easy to do)
Then please tell me WHY WON'T IT BE THEIR ONLY FOCUS?!?

You have created an idol for your child unknowingly. And it's so easy to do.

Let's say God in His infinite and incomprehensible wisdom decides it would be best for your child to:
Not make the team.
Not win that game.
Miss the practice because of illness or car trouble.
Be on JV instead of Varsity.
Not have the money to pay for such and such.
Allow your child to suffer injury as a building lesson.

What happens then? The idol/focus/centering dissolves and crumbles and so does your child's worth/focus/centering. It was never meant to support your child in the first place.

You might be tempted to label me an athlete-hater. Wrong. I'm crazy competitive and go for blood. I love a good game with two equally matched teams. I love to watch someone who has honed their skills to a mastery level achieve honor and be humble about it. That's a thing of beauty.

I watched Rudy at least twice a week at aTm as a source of fuel and encouragement.

Let me propose to you:

What if your kid is meant to be a walk-on?

Don't you think that God can handle that?

Why the extreme emphasis on the activities? I'm saying extreme.

I think team sports and individual sports are amazingly good and so great for teaching life lessons.

 Yeah, I played soccer and got playing time, but I shouldn't have. I totally sucked! I was a forward and never scored a goal. I should've played defense. But whatever, I learned to keep trying and I'm thankful for that as embarrassing as that was.

I used to take English riding lessons and show and got bucked off my horse in the middle of a show. I literally (That's using the term correctly you see...) had to get back on the horse to complete the mission.

Maybe God has placed you on your team to, I don't know, be a witness to others? Awesome. Do that.

Can we let His glorification be the focus and not our child's or own? And can we please bring fun back???

There are some true legends out there that were born to play. Born to entertain. Who do you think made them that way? You guessed it. THE Creator and Coach.

If you haven't watched the classic film, Chariots of Fire, I highly recommend it.

Watch it to see what a true Christian athlete is. Uncompromising and not of the world.

This mindset could be carried on to so many levels. I'm only a photographer because that is just one way that God chooses to work through me as to glorify Him. You wanna talk about competition? Pish posh! Rubbish.

God brings my clients and leads and I just do what He's told me to do.

Your job? That's the team that God put you on.Why don't you challenge yourself to see your workplace as a team that God selected you to be on and find out who needs to see Jesus today. That's what a true champion does.

Honestly, in our souls I think we know we are of value (To God) but we get it twisted and place that value on accolades and awards. I think our hearts hunger for those awards, medals, ribbons and trophies.

To teach our kids about the unseen awards, plaques, trophies and ribbons has become my goal in life. To show my child how to have true Kingdom focus.

Talking to Our Six Year Old About Purity...

Yep. It's come to this. Today's the day. Let's talk about six.

We are going to tell Leelah all about how if God desires for her to be married, that He has the dude already picked out and golly bum willikers, he's where it's at because he's being prayed for already and he loves Jesus.
To quote my precious neighbor who said it beautifully to her 3rd grader:
"If he doesn't love Jesus, he doesn't love you!"
Does this boggle your mind that we are even touching the subject of our 6 yr old's future husband? Hey guess what.
The world is way ahead of us on this. They're already forecasting your daughter's future: "good time", "boyfriend", "girlfriend", the unattainable "soulmate", "best friend with benefits"- heck just have them stand in front of a Redbox for 5 minutes!!!, and their "last Friday night."

Why it's time:
As a photographer (thank you Jesus for healing my sight so that I can be!!!), I take photos of all sorts of beautiful people. To me, everyone I shoot is beautiful because they are created by a God who oozes with creativity and doesn't make mistakes.

Truly, truly I say to you that I love people and taking their portrait to display their beauty is something so special to me that I tear up as I write this. That is no joke.

This past weekend, I got to snap some shots for an actor.

 My daughter (she's 6 did I mention?) happened to note (while dropping her fake ice cream cone) that she "really liked his face." She then proceeded to mention, "When will I see him again?"

She is 6- turning 7 soon, but still, 6. And he attends high school.

Sidenote: Please forgive my punctuation mistakes and grammar 'ssues. I placed out of English. There's a lot of ", -, and ()'s in here and that is not my "wheelhouse!"

The Battle is On to Win Your Girl's Heart, Mind and Focus:
Have you taken a spin in Claire's or Justice or Walmart lately?
Do you not see the amount of Beiber shirts, posters, One direction, whoever's hot right now, all at eye level and marketed to our tiny girls? And have you seen anything remotely like that for boys? No. But they have their own set of challenges, which I can't even touch as a girl-mom.


WAKE UP!

You might not understand or want to fathom that sex is selling to 6 yr olds, but it is.
And you might laugh when your daughter comes home and says "So and so has a boyfriend! *tee hee hee*" But you need to realize if you haven't already, that this is all setting the stage for her future in the arena of: dating, marriage, and waiting. 

As Christian parental units, we need to be praying for God to reveal and then casting God's vision for them and forming their minds- "training them the way they should go" to see that God's plan is so much greater than our theirs or even our own plan for them as parents!!!

We purposely don't have cable and don't watch live broadcasts of local TV because the ads are just disgusting. It's a very blurry line we tow between not over-sheltering her in a prayer closet a la Carrie's mom and not playing HBO in the background of our life. There's a whole mess of stuff in between.

But that's where prayer and seeking God in His Word comes in- SO YOU CAN SEE THE LINE and see the battle that's already being waged for her heart!!!

Even with our hawk-eye, laser-beam focus and all the lessons and all the pumping up we do of substituting the world's trash with God's treasures, Leelah still has eyes to see the beauty that God has made. As well, she should.

 But what she does with this is how we pray and hope to cast a vision for her. 

She has a little mind working overtime to process what she sees and hears at school. And John and I will be darned if we let the fallen world tell her what to do with all that.

Our hope is to attack the boy-crazy-mindset before it even begins. Not so much to talk about sexual purity at this stage, but to cast a vision for our daughter so she can have her sights set on God's plan for her as opposed to the flashing candy the world is shoving down her throat.

Why wait if you don't know what or whom you are waiting for? Am I right?

Let's set this up, Disneyworld style. Hey, I've waited in those lines as a kid for upwards of 2 hours. And it was worth every. stinkin. minute.


The Purity Plan. 
Tonight we are going to be prayed up. My husband and I are going to put on homemade, king and queen crowns. I will do my best to have some sort of special dinner made (and or purchased...).

With an invitation to come join us for a Royal Dinner awaiting for her when I pick her up from school, she will also receive a Princess crown and yes, we will let her bring her sword. She's hardcore like that. She caught a lizard yesterday and it bit the fooey out of her. So yes, this plan could work for a tomboy.

We will sit with fancyfied TV trays (We typcially only sit at the table as a fam) and watch as a family, the King and Queen's wedding video (thanks Uncle Ken!). Leelah's never seen this before. I know I will be bawling like a psycho when I see my dad (who's in Heaven) walk me down the aisle.

We will explain that this is what God has planned for Leelah. Do you see the vision that's being cast?

And then we will read this precious book lent to me from a precious friend:

http://www.amazon.com/Princess-Kiss-Story-Purity-Audio/dp/1593173806/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1367941798&sr=1-1&keywords=the+princess%27s+kiss

 
And then we will most likely answer a dozen questions or none at all - we never know what we are going to get with her!

And then, the key, we will pray with her. For God's Will to be done in her life and NO ONE ELSE'S.

Guys, you cannot let the world dictate to your daughter who and what her love life will be. Whatever "positive" or "negative" things you think the world can provide for her PALES IN COMPARISON to the blinding, sunshine light of truth in God's Word.
Period.

I'm not planning on talking about the deed to Leelah tonight. As I see it we are just discussing God's chosen prince for her if He decides that is the route He will have her take. Who knows, she might end up as a missionary/Dr. Dolittle type after it's all said and done!

And then, John and I will have to realize that if we are intentional in our hearts, prayers, actions, words, etc. and if she stumbles (It's a guarantee that "we all stumble.") that we know that that is also covered in God's plan of grace. However, we are praying that God would equip us to equip her to wear the right shoes so to speak so as to make that stumble a trip and not a full-out-fall.

Do you have an older daughter? Let me recommend this awesome book to you:

http://www.amazon.com/The-Young-Lady-Waiting-Developing/dp/076842657X

Vision Focus- What's the "The End" for your little girl?

Instead of our united focus being, "Well she's gonna do _____________ anyway, so let's go ahead and prepare with that end in mind..."
We are going full out in the other direction with this vision for her life based on God's Word.
How dare you parents who assume your child will do the worst!!!
I don't like to shame anyone here. God doesn't use shame. But seriously. You can do better than this! I'm talking to you FDA for making the Plan B drug OTC. And I better stop the ranting as I feel my heartbeat in my throat over that.

Focus on the Do's: 
Instead of focusing on the don'ts right now - which are actually for life saving and not fun stopping- we are going to focus on the do's.
¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.- Jer. 29:11
"Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be."- Matt 6:21
¹² Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity.- 1 Tim. 4:12

Have you Given Up?
Do you complain and lament as the lost innocence of girls today, but do nothing to counter that? You can. It's not too late. Please. Let's all unite on this and take our girls back. 

Check out this phenomenal resource list compiled by Kristen over at We Are That Family to see what is out there that breathes life and hope into your daughter in the form of music, books, magazines, fashion, etc. 

I like to eat at Bombay Grill!

Yo.
You like Indian food?
I do. Well, if you count Chicken Tikka Masala as Indian food, then yes! I also like naan. And now you know the extent of my Indian food knowledge.
BUT
in my defense, that CTM is so good I don't have time to try anything else? Why improve on perfection!?

So far, we've tried:
Kiran's near 6-10. It was good. It was expensive. It was good and expensive.
Mantra on S. Mason. It is good. It is fairly priced. It has pretty atmosphere.
But our most favorite...
BOMBAY GRILL in Richmond, TX.





It's family run. It's DELICIOUS!!!! And you must go there and become one of us. Do it. Today.

We like to to-go-it.
For Leelah we like to order the Chicken Pakora- might misspell that...

Oh CTM. You are the best.

And in case you don't believe me... Check out their Urban Spoon reviews.

Debt Free and Lovin' It.

Friends.
Countrymen.
Cheeselovers.
Glasses-wearers, Nonglasses-wearers,
UNITE!

We are debt free now. The monkey, no Gorilla, is off our back. We're dunzo.

To commemorate, we made a fun little video as a family.  We even got the dog involved, so you know it's good.

It's no Lawrence of Arabia or Wizard of Oz or Insert Epic Film Masterpiece Title here, but just a little something.

And we owe it all to first: God and His grace.
Second- Second- Baptist that is because our dear family friends, the Belue's and the Richardson's, led Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover class and our money totally got madeover.
And thank you Mr. Dave Ramsey for following God's call of teaching and for your ministry.

Sidenote: We applied to be on Dave Ramsey's show.
We had plans to drive to Nashville and do our Debt Free Scream from his Financial Peace Plaza Lobby. I made the mistake of pumping Leelah up about it and then asking one of my fave peeps if we could stay at her place along the way (I was most excited about seeing my buddy, shaking Dave's hand, and eating a Martha cookie).

I'm not being facetious when I say that I cry every time I hear a debt free scream. I feel like I'm insta-pals with those families.

So we were denied by Dave because during our debt free journey our Corolla got wrecked by a guy who didn't believe in fixing his brakes- it was 50% totaled - not enough to completely total it. We decided to trade in John's car which was junking down so much we had to bail. We traded that car in and put our tax refund into a CR-V for me, with every intention of paying it off and thank you Lord- we did- we financed it for around $13,000. We had the Corolla repaired which thankfully was covered.

This is a no-no.

According to the Financial Peace/Total Money Makeover plan, we should have made an even trade and gotten whatever car we could pay cash for, which would have been in our case a beater car.

I get it and I respect Dave's plan.

Which is why we have been following, blogging (Just search "frugalicious friday" on my blog), promoting, and living it since Feb. 2008. John and I having budgeting meetings every other Thursday for 5 years (and for the rest of our lives!), going to the bank to get our cash for our envelopes, etc. etc.

Even through paying off 14 surgeries, trips to Mayo Clinic, traumas, etc.

We're trying to be classy about it even though we were kind of let down. Again, we understand that he has a plan and that plan is proven success in teaching families how to achieve financial freedom.

God showed me something, that we don't need man's approval. Yeah, it would have been really cool to meet someone who's become a mentor to our family and to join the other families who have screamed for freedom.
Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.- Galatians 1:10

Scream or no scream, we are still free.
The rich rule over the poor, and the borrower is slave to the lender.- Proverbs 22:7

John and I know each other much more through all the budget communication.
There's no bank-account-balance-fear.
And us 3 Nichols have accomplished a huge goal together through God's lead.

So in August which is when we are set to be able to pay for it and knowing it's when the sun is closest to Orlando, we are planning to make a Disney pilgrimage.
Leelah has no clue. If she did, there'd be some idolizing happening big time.
We are going to pack her bags for her unbeknownst to her, wake her up the next day and say, "Get in the car. We're going to Disneyworld!"

We are saving and budgeting for every step.

Just like Leelah said when she was five to some classmates, "My family and I are going to Disney when we are debt free! And not until then!"

Thank you Jesus and supportive friends. 

Almost Debt Free. Tips!

It's almost:

Guys. Are you sitting down? Standing up? A littlea both? Eating an apple? I love apples. Galas only please. Running? Laying down? In a zero-gravity plane?

I HAVE NEWS.

$1639.89

Um. Yeah. So close I am tearing up.

$1639.89 left until The Nichols are debt free minus the house!

PRAISE JESUS.

This is a victory. A loooooooong road.

Today I want to tell you that YES you can do this. I'm praying for those reading this with tears of defeat or who's spouse just won't be on the same page. I'm praying for you. You guys can do this. There will be healing.

I can't believe I'm even typing that we are about a month and half or so maybe less of being done with debt. Again, still paying the house and utilities of course.

Can I share what helped us? Reverse-pride. Unbragging. Get proud of the ol' tired stuff you are living with- that's what is going to get you to the end. That's what the "gazelle intensity" that Dave Ramsey teaches- is all about.

Non-Flat TVs and NO Cable:
We were/are proud of the non-flat screen in our living room. Do people want to come watch stuff at our house? No, but we don't have cable either and we are proud of that too!
We know and love our true-blue friends that come to our house, because we literally just sit and talk and enjoy them so much!!!
Getting rid of the cable has helped my soul y'all.
John was ticked at first. I mean I told him that I felt convicted about watching a certain show. If it was on, I'd watch it (It was Real Housewives) and it drained my energy and truly made me ill with all the backstabbery/fake crap.
He did NOT want to release cable. So we babystepped it.
And each month went down a package.
And down another package.
And survived.
Until finally, blammo, goodbye.
Now yes, we have netflix and amazon prime- which I use for my biz, Kindle and we stream shows.
After a yr, John was finally cool with it and now LOVES it. It was all his idea anyway....
I LOVE bragging that I don't have cable. Plus, I got friends that do and they invite me over b/c they are amazing. Thank you 'zing friends.

Cars:
Yo. That's my car with the dings, stains, and I'm rockin an '08 with low mileage. And yeah, huszzby is rollin in the Corolla- '05 baby- "Ol Smokey" with the cigarette burns from the previous owner/renters.
And we like it.
We don't feel oppressed because those bad boys are paid off. We know we are "Living like no one else, so we can live like no one else."
We thank God for our vehicles at all.
Be proud of what some might consider a jalopy and know where it's really taking you to- FREEDOM.

Clothes n' Things:
acquaintance: Hey Jillian, cute shirt!
me: Thanks I got it at KCM boutique for $4. It's Ann Taylor Loft!
acquaintance: Whaaaaa????
If I can't score something $10 and under I don't buy it. $15 and under for dresses. I know that is disgusting to some of you.
This is really easy for me because I really don't like trends anyway.
Now I did just buy a yellow backpack for my camera and it was NOT following these rules. Purses do not fit here, because you will be burned by buying cheap since you use it and abuse it. Also, I am realizing that yellow bags are trendy.
I have loved yellow forever so I am plainly stating that I'm not following a trend here.
But know, that there will ALWAYS be cute shirts and things to buy.

Emeals!!!! Yes. They really do help. I didn't like the fact that I have to pay, but I've acquiesced to the fact that my brain doesn't function this way. It pays to pay them think for me so I can save money and eat better by not going out.

Anyone else care to share???

So we have filled out the form to go see Dave for August. We are awaiting their approval. We hope to be on the Aug. 9th show. We will let everyone know!!!!

Gillian Gets a Mammogram.

Friday was flat tires day.


Hey y'all. I'm being honest. Flat-out honest. Literally.

And look since I'm tellin' this is me:

I've had cataracts since I was 4 yrs old.
Got a hysterectomy due to stupid endometriosis at 26.
Gallbladder out at 20. Ain't no one got time for gallbladder sludge, yo.
Of course, you know my fave thing to say, "I've had 10 eye surgeries. Hi, I'm Gillian, not Jillian."
Dislocated my hip in high school.
Couldn't walk because my joints were whack for pretty much all of 2010.
I have osteopenia. Everyone's doing it.
I'm on hormones that are so synthetic they might as well say, Johnson & Johnson as the manufacturer.
Oh and I wear progressive glasses.
I can no longer night-drive due to all the surgeries, thus I'm a reverse-vampire. 
I've done water aerobics on account of all of the above.
And I complain a lot.

Yes. I'm a 85 yr old 32 yr old. No offense, to my fabulous 85 yr old friends.

So the other day when I was having some, er, pain in well, a friend close to my heart. I thought, of course I need a mammo.

Oh crap.

I need a mammo.

NoooooooooooooooooooooOooooooooooooooooooooOOooooooooooooooooooooOOOO.

I can be put under for general anesthesia like a pro, but that - well I've heard stories as we all have.

And I'm sorry. But is it just me or is everyone getting cancer these days? That sucks. My heart is broken in so many pieces right now for so many people battling and mourning. Could North Korea just hurry up already? I KNOW WHERE I'M GOING DANG IT. And it's Cancer-Free, thankyouverymuchpleasepassthejelly!

So my grandmother supposedly had b cancer at age 29!?!?! That is at least what I've been told.

LADIES: IF YOU HAVE A FAM MEMBER WHO HAS HAD B CANCER- YOU NEED TO GO GET A MAMMY 10 YEARS FROM WHEN THAT FAM MEMBER WAS DIAGNOSED. So that means I should have gone in at 19.

SAY WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA????

So I'm, ahem, a little late. But still what I feel - freakishly early- like everything else in my life.

They call me in- but get this- the lady actually pronounces my name right so I kind of sat there looking confused and almost didn't realize it was my turn!!!

I walk into this waiting area and it's beautiful, serene, spa-like. So I was jazzed up! Where's the fruit-float-water!?! Look, I know I got nothin' wrong with my doo-dads. So I'm gonna just relax-
"Oh I'm sorry maam- see that gentleman fixing the coffee machine over there?? Yeah, you will have to wait in your dressing room please." 
What? Oh. Okay.
So I wait in the 2x2 dressing room in the dark basically. Oh well, I got my Kindle!

And I'm sorry if this is making some uncomfortable.

Uncomfortable is also the word I would and Memorial Hermann Katy uses for Mammogram.

I had to get a diagnostic one due to the pain and the family history. Let's just skip to the end- no spots! Except for a little cyst which is normal. They suggested I lay off the caffeine (cha, right lady!) and come back yearly for a screening...
Again, I'm sorry for the details here.

And I was also deemed, "The Most Entertaining Patient of the Day." According to the Mammo-Tech.
Probably because I asked her if they had nets to catch things... In case... Things... Busted off.... This joke-credit goes to John.
I also at one point just said, "I don't know where to put my hands!"
And, "I'm sorry I'm so sixth grade, laugh, laugh..."
It's a defense mechanism.

Why am I sharing this before 10 on a Monday? I know there are some ladies out there who might be weird like me, and look, if I can do it. You can too.

Budget for it and go.

And then budget for the lunch at Escalante's afterwards because you were slightly traumatized...

The Official Diagnosis...

It only took 32 years of waiting for me to be diagnosed with:
Autosomal Recessive Ectopia Lentis et Pupillae! 

That's what the geneticists call it, but I will always call it:
Googly Eye Disease!

Let's face it, I'm special and I now have a crazy random label to slime people with. Yeah, I said slime. I miss you Double Dare and You Can't Do That on Television!

You are all so jealous. Don't even try to hide it. You want these jello jiggly eyes and disconnected connective tissue so bad!!!!

So here's the lowdown.

John and I went to the geneticist again to hear about what the amazingly brilliant and most likely glasses-clad geniuses in Oregon found in my one vial of blood.

Source:http://jurassicpark.wikia.com/wiki/Mr._DNA




"DNA's in your blood!" (Jurassic Park reference)

This time they tested the AdamTSL4 gene and for this appointment we got to hear the results. Here's the post about the last appointment where I boggle their mind with questions...
The testing -which by the way this particular gene was discovered DISCOVERED only 2 years ago- showed that I had a mutation (small deletion) in the coding of it and therefore has caused my proteins that deal mainly with the zonules (those guys that hold your ocular lenses in place) to be all jank.

Some where along the genetics line, things got messed up. And I love the part where sweet Tracy said, "Your body just had to do the best it could." She is so sweet!

And it did, I mean I didn't go blind in my left eye until college! Then the right was like 9 years after that! Amazing. Thank you Lord. 

Hearing her say "tested positive" sounded strangely good. I've never heard those words before. It was kinda like finding the end of the rainbow for me. So many years. 

It looks like it may affect the rest of my joints/connective tissue as well. But of all the people tested, I think it's under 20?, I'm the only one showing those results so far. And yes, my hip still hurts every now and then and now my joints are very "worn out feeling" when I sit and change positions.

BUT THANK GOD I CAN STILL WALK!!!! 2010 really sucked.

So what does this mean?
1. Leelah is a carrier, bless her heart.
2. She may or may not be affected. She's got a 25% chance. Which reminds me, I need to make her another eye appt! But she looks like she is doing absolutely fine. By her age, I had cataracts and my nose was against the TV to see.
3. Leelah will pass it on to her children and they might be affected depending on the future hubby/daddy. So pick him good God!!!
4. I learned things.
5. My cardiovascular system, a common concern with ELEP peeps, is ruled out to be unaffected at this point.

And we have a fancy name to this way that God made me.

Eye update: Well you know Left Eye is always dancing to 'Wobble' like it's at a wedding reception. Right eye, Champion, is doing great.
To those peeps that tell me they are still praying for my eyes, I love you. Thanks so much for that. You are part of my miracle!

And I have new glasses with better lenses!

I do apologize for my Ice-Truckers hair do.

Show Us Your Walgreens!

I am mad at you Walgreens.

And I am mad at you celebrities that show your goodies under a jacket or under your arms/hands.
It's always the mom-ebrities that do it too. We get it. You still have it, thanks to Photoshop. And the youngins trying to prove they have it and they are not "little" anymore. Okay, so what? Now you're a complete hooch because you've just turned 18?

Has anyone been to Walgreens in a while? It's disgusting. Maybe it's just the particular one I attempted to patron today, but dang.

I counted no less than three separate magazines of Miley, Kate and that God forsaken SI chick that were all out on covers- completely uncovered- right there at little ones' eye levels mind you. My goodness. And it was all over- not just the mag section. Near the batteries. Near the photo pick up. Near the checkout.

HOW DO YOU TALK AT THE DINNER TABLE TO YOUR LOVED ONES (WHO MOST CERTAINLY SHOP AT WALGREENS) ABOUT YOUR LATEST MAG COVER? Oh yeah Grandma, nothin' to it. You just wear this jacket and nothing else- it's a little weird at first and totally awkward, but I'm really proud about how it turned out. I feel so liberated. 

Please do not get me started- DGMS!- about the pics I see on Facebook or Pinterest either. Gross.

I'm asking you. How is that helpful? Facebook: The 24 hr Show and Tell.

So that's the angry mom talking.
And then I get all sad and filled with pity.

Maybe if someone in these girls' lives had told them that they were lovely simply because they are them and they are God's, maybe if someone had told them that, would they still feel inclined to prove to the world that they are whatever adjective they pursue or strive for?

I, for one, will not be taking my daughter into Walgreens. I'm not starting a petition. I'm just trying to limit her exposure to crap like that.

It's not because I think she will turn out like that if she looks upon it. It's because I have more respect for those women then they have for themselves.

And I'm thankful for one headline that's out in the stores although it's so none of my business and no one elses'... I loathe magazines like these. I'm not passing judgement on you. I have been convicted in this area and had to stop. Just saying. But I'm thankful for this:


 Why is this news?

Please tell your little girl that she is lovely, it's imperative. We need less nothing-under-jacket women in this world. 

And read, Captivating by Stasi Eldridge. Must.