Yeah so Leelah and I had the Pig Flu all week. We're cool now- John's not! He sounds like gravel in a blender. Pretty awesome.
You can imagine after my self-quarantining all week I just hads to go to Hobby Lobby. So Leelah and I hit HL. Hard. We were there for over an hour (don't judge me!) and whilst perusing the crochet yarnball aisle I hear Leelah perched in the buggy, LOUDLY exclaim to the heavens,
"OHHh LORD! PLEEEASE LET MY MOM GET OUT OF THIS PLACE!!!!!"
Ah jeez. The Hobby Lobby Prayer 2009. Totally writing that one in the book!
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Teaching Kids About Heaven
"But GOd will redeem my soul from the power of the grave: for he shall receive me." Psalm 49:15
"He will swallow up death in victory; and the Lord God will wipe away tears from off all faces." Isaiah 25:8
What do you tell your little one about death? When someone you and they love "graduates" to be with Jesus in Heaven? When someone suffers?
Today early this morning John's sweet Granny Ruth passed away and graduated to be with her Savior and friend Jesus Christ. She is healed. We are thankful for her life. Thankful she believed and raised believers (John's mother, Carol) who then in turn raised believers (John and Amy). What a beautiful life she lived. Thank you Lord for taking her home. To her real home. We know we aren't meant to stay here.
The other day I was at a pray and play group with my daughter. There were 3 other moms with me all with toddlers and babies. All believers. All beautiful women I admire and love. Every month we meet and pray scripture over our kids. I encourage you if to find some fellow believer moms and do this for your children. It is a precious time that Leelah looks forward to too- "mommy are we going to our prayer group today?" I always get emotional and teary thinking about it. I even find myself future thinking about it and future-remembering how we always end the time with the song "You are my Savior" sung to the tune of "you are my sunshine". So sweet. Thank you Emily and Callie for starting this God-picked place and time.
While at this group, it came to me to lift up prayer requests for Leelah. Since we knew my husband's granny was ill, I decided to ask for prayer in teaching Leelah about death and graduation. That God would teach us through this time and show Leelah the correct response He wants us to have. That it would be a time of grieving, but that we are rejoicing for her healing and for the beginning of her eternal life of renewed health. What do you teach kids about Heaven? When I asked the other moms what their thoughts were about dealing with death, taking kids to funerals, etc, I learned that this is sort of an untapped subject at least in our stage of life. None of them really had dealt with the death of a loved one and teaching their kids about it firsthand it seemed. The Lord showed me that maybe we are experiencing it first amongst a lot of friends to help. Leelah's grandfather (Gigi) and my father passed away from Cancer a year and a half ago. Please let me share what the good Lord and Shepherd has taught us to teach our sweet baby (3 yr old). Please share with me your ways too!
Get them focused on where the loved one is now. Give them an image of Heaven to hold onto:
- as soon as my father passed we made sure to talk up Heaven. We told Leelah how it was the best place you could ever be. She was 22 months at the time. So we asked her what do you think Gigi is doing in Heaven with his best friend Jesus right now? Her answer: "Playing balls". So we let her have that image to hold on to and reinforce it.
Let your children see you cry and know this is how you process grief:
- I would cry at the oddest times and still do. I just say only if she asks, "Mommy is sad and misses Gigi. But I am happy because he is in Heaven with Jesus." I then bring up the image she has to talk to her about and that helps me too! Jesus cried about Lazarus' death, so we can too.
Start little traditions or memory cues:
- At HEB we have to get a balloon. We have to. God help us if they are out. At the end of shopping, Leelah gets to give Gigi her balloon (I think a lot of people do this- thank you for the idea!). The other day I was missing my dad and John told me, just think once we get to Heaven we'll see your daddy standing there with a whole bunch of balloons. Now I have an image I think about that makes me happy. Thank you John.
Graves are "memory spots"
- This is where we go to remember Gigi. We know they are not here though, but that they are in Heaven. This really helped put a good spin on a grave which could be confusing for little ones.
Have a photo book
- take all the pics of your loved one and make a photo book. Take it out every now and then and laugh about good time with them. Keep it sweet.
The first year- the memorial day
- Have things planned. Don't let this day sneak up on you. Plant a rose bush or a tree in memory of them. Give to a charity in their name to teach your kids about giving. Go do something they loved to do in honor of them. Pray for God to assist you and carry you on this day.
Stop, Drop and Pray
- If you are just stuck or your child brings up the loved one - just stop and say "Let's pray about it" And just lift up your thoughts out loud to GOd. "Lord, we miss Gigi today. We are really sad. Please take our sadness and let us rely on you. We love you Lord. We know you are taking good care of Gigi." You think, well I've got a 2 yr old they don't know what I'm saying. Who cares. Say it anyway. They will learn that when times are tough, we stop and pray. Even at Target. At all times you are witnessing.
Good Books:
- I plan on purchasing today "God Gave Us Heaven" by Lisa Bergren. She wrote "God Gave Us You" and Leelah loves it. I think it will help explain things on a kid's level.
Funerals:
- I personally don't know the answer. We took Leelah to my dad's memorial service in Oklahoma and since she talked the whole time, my sweet cousins pushed her stroller around. For this upcoming funeral we have asked John's mom who is closest to this whole situation what she wants? Then I ask John what he wants? Pray about the decision. I do think open caskets might not be suitable or helpful for little little ones to see.
Make sure your thinking is up to par
- What are your thoughts on? I know that reading the "One Year Book of Hope" devotional by Nancy Guthrie has been instrumental in helping me cope and grieve with the Lord. As well as loving friends and family. Things that friends and family told me that I have clung to:
"It's not okay" IT's okay to know this. We're on Earth. Not in Heaven. And really, we weren't meant to be here. So sometimes it's not going to be okay.
"The miracle has already happened." So many times people pray for miracles. Lord, please heal them with a miracle. But if that sick person is a believer then that IS the miracle. The miracle has happened- they were saved. Pray for salvation in a sick person's life. That they would accept the Lord as their Savior.
I know this is deep and doesn't encompass this huge issue by any means. I am merely a mom in Katy who has felt the Spirit move in my life to let you know that God has overcome death in Jesus. To have that Kingdom-Heaven vision to get through the day.
"He will swallow up death in victory; and the Lord God will wipe away tears from off all faces." Isaiah 25:8
What do you tell your little one about death? When someone you and they love "graduates" to be with Jesus in Heaven? When someone suffers?
Today early this morning John's sweet Granny Ruth passed away and graduated to be with her Savior and friend Jesus Christ. She is healed. We are thankful for her life. Thankful she believed and raised believers (John's mother, Carol) who then in turn raised believers (John and Amy). What a beautiful life she lived. Thank you Lord for taking her home. To her real home. We know we aren't meant to stay here.
The other day I was at a pray and play group with my daughter. There were 3 other moms with me all with toddlers and babies. All believers. All beautiful women I admire and love. Every month we meet and pray scripture over our kids. I encourage you if to find some fellow believer moms and do this for your children. It is a precious time that Leelah looks forward to too- "mommy are we going to our prayer group today?" I always get emotional and teary thinking about it. I even find myself future thinking about it and future-remembering how we always end the time with the song "You are my Savior" sung to the tune of "you are my sunshine". So sweet. Thank you Emily and Callie for starting this God-picked place and time.
While at this group, it came to me to lift up prayer requests for Leelah. Since we knew my husband's granny was ill, I decided to ask for prayer in teaching Leelah about death and graduation. That God would teach us through this time and show Leelah the correct response He wants us to have. That it would be a time of grieving, but that we are rejoicing for her healing and for the beginning of her eternal life of renewed health. What do you teach kids about Heaven? When I asked the other moms what their thoughts were about dealing with death, taking kids to funerals, etc, I learned that this is sort of an untapped subject at least in our stage of life. None of them really had dealt with the death of a loved one and teaching their kids about it firsthand it seemed. The Lord showed me that maybe we are experiencing it first amongst a lot of friends to help. Leelah's grandfather (Gigi) and my father passed away from Cancer a year and a half ago. Please let me share what the good Lord and Shepherd has taught us to teach our sweet baby (3 yr old). Please share with me your ways too!
Get them focused on where the loved one is now. Give them an image of Heaven to hold onto:
- as soon as my father passed we made sure to talk up Heaven. We told Leelah how it was the best place you could ever be. She was 22 months at the time. So we asked her what do you think Gigi is doing in Heaven with his best friend Jesus right now? Her answer: "Playing balls". So we let her have that image to hold on to and reinforce it.
Let your children see you cry and know this is how you process grief:
- I would cry at the oddest times and still do. I just say only if she asks, "Mommy is sad and misses Gigi. But I am happy because he is in Heaven with Jesus." I then bring up the image she has to talk to her about and that helps me too! Jesus cried about Lazarus' death, so we can too.
Start little traditions or memory cues:
- At HEB we have to get a balloon. We have to. God help us if they are out. At the end of shopping, Leelah gets to give Gigi her balloon (I think a lot of people do this- thank you for the idea!). The other day I was missing my dad and John told me, just think once we get to Heaven we'll see your daddy standing there with a whole bunch of balloons. Now I have an image I think about that makes me happy. Thank you John.
Graves are "memory spots"
- This is where we go to remember Gigi. We know they are not here though, but that they are in Heaven. This really helped put a good spin on a grave which could be confusing for little ones.
Have a photo book
- take all the pics of your loved one and make a photo book. Take it out every now and then and laugh about good time with them. Keep it sweet.
The first year- the memorial day
- Have things planned. Don't let this day sneak up on you. Plant a rose bush or a tree in memory of them. Give to a charity in their name to teach your kids about giving. Go do something they loved to do in honor of them. Pray for God to assist you and carry you on this day.
Stop, Drop and Pray
- If you are just stuck or your child brings up the loved one - just stop and say "Let's pray about it" And just lift up your thoughts out loud to GOd. "Lord, we miss Gigi today. We are really sad. Please take our sadness and let us rely on you. We love you Lord. We know you are taking good care of Gigi." You think, well I've got a 2 yr old they don't know what I'm saying. Who cares. Say it anyway. They will learn that when times are tough, we stop and pray. Even at Target. At all times you are witnessing.
Good Books:
- I plan on purchasing today "God Gave Us Heaven" by Lisa Bergren. She wrote "God Gave Us You" and Leelah loves it. I think it will help explain things on a kid's level.
Funerals:
- I personally don't know the answer. We took Leelah to my dad's memorial service in Oklahoma and since she talked the whole time, my sweet cousins pushed her stroller around. For this upcoming funeral we have asked John's mom who is closest to this whole situation what she wants? Then I ask John what he wants? Pray about the decision. I do think open caskets might not be suitable or helpful for little little ones to see.
Make sure your thinking is up to par
- What are your thoughts on? I know that reading the "One Year Book of Hope" devotional by Nancy Guthrie has been instrumental in helping me cope and grieve with the Lord. As well as loving friends and family. Things that friends and family told me that I have clung to:
"It's not okay" IT's okay to know this. We're on Earth. Not in Heaven. And really, we weren't meant to be here. So sometimes it's not going to be okay.
"The miracle has already happened." So many times people pray for miracles. Lord, please heal them with a miracle. But if that sick person is a believer then that IS the miracle. The miracle has happened- they were saved. Pray for salvation in a sick person's life. That they would accept the Lord as their Savior.
I know this is deep and doesn't encompass this huge issue by any means. I am merely a mom in Katy who has felt the Spirit move in my life to let you know that God has overcome death in Jesus. To have that Kingdom-Heaven vision to get through the day.
Monday, November 16, 2009
Swhy us?
So. The Nichols have the Swine Flu. At least Leelah does have it confirmed plus an ear infection. I feel like I probably have it too- her pedi nodded her head yes I had it but didn't test me. Honestly, I'm only posting this to let people know- IT'S NOT THAT BAD! The flu John and I had at the beginning of the year was 10x worse. I'm talkin' someone call a young and old priest bad. But this stuff is comparable to a sinus infection with the same type of symptoms: runny, stuffy nose, cough,low fever. Leelah just took her first dose of Tammy- love her- tamiflu and zithromax and seriously, not more than five min. ago she was jumping, yelling and smiling about something so things are good.
You will live with swine flu and be okay. Now we did have our seasonal flu shot and not the swine flu vacc. So I do think this is what is preventing worse symptoms. Just a layperson guess. Also, we will be hunkering down in our home for a week so as to not get Leelah sicker or give anyone the virus. But when I asked Dr.L about how long we are contagious for and this and that there was not a clear answer. Mostly because CDC does not have clear info to give us. They don't know. So with the doc's advice we'll be taking the whole 24hrs symptom/fever-free route, but not going to school and dance for this week.
You will live with swine flu and be okay. Now we did have our seasonal flu shot and not the swine flu vacc. So I do think this is what is preventing worse symptoms. Just a layperson guess. Also, we will be hunkering down in our home for a week so as to not get Leelah sicker or give anyone the virus. But when I asked Dr.L about how long we are contagious for and this and that there was not a clear answer. Mostly because CDC does not have clear info to give us. They don't know. So with the doc's advice we'll be taking the whole 24hrs symptom/fever-free route, but not going to school and dance for this week.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Hold the phone!
So. Leelah's been bringing up some heavy subjects. Always whilst driving- me not her- and it almost causes me to wreck. I mean I've got 1.25 eyeball I'm workin' with. The topics of discussion in the Toyota Corolla I lovingly named "Ol' Smokey" are:
- How you milk a cow.
Leelah: I know how you milk a cow. (me: oh cool how?). You have to clean out the cow's... It got graphic from here on out. BELIEVE ME. Scary. She's 3.5 yrs and I was shocked at what she thought she knew. So after yelling at her: "STOP WHOA WHOA WHOA!!!!" and correcting the car's trajectory, I set her straight about udders. And where they are located... Phew. That could have been disastrous.
- Why do you get "bath-tized" i.e. Baptized?
Leelah: I don't want to get bathtized. (me: {praying for help} why not?) Because I don't want everyone to see me go under the water and then they think I'm not pretty. Me: (whoa really? already worrying?) So Leelah you know it's one of the most beautiful events that Christians can do to show they love the Lord and everyone will think you are so beautiful when you do that. I rambled on and on about her heart being made clean and showing how much you love Jesus.
Leelah: What's a "Christin"?
Me: someone who loves Jesus.
This whole conversation took place all while driving to Katy Budget Books (super cute store might I add).
I pray it "soaked" in. We then took her to one of our pastor's daughter's baptism on Sunday and I think this helped her see what it was all about. It's a big deal to John and I that she see what an awesome testimony it is. So precious that she asked about it and I'm thankful she shared her trepidations with me. Again though phew!
- Who Leelah really loves...
Leelah: Mom, you know who I love even better than you?
Me: (thinking please say God that is the only acceptable answer)
Leelah: Santa!
Me: (thinking oh man I could so blow this right now with HE'S NOT EVEN REAL) Leelah, you know Santa is really cool, but God is the one you should love most. Then mommy and daddy. We celebrate Jesus' birthday more than getting presents on Christmas.
Leelah: But I love you too.
- What is a brain? And What is inside you?
Leelah: What is a brain?
Me: It helps you think and talk and move and it's an organ.
Leelah: What's inside you?
Me: Bones, guts, organs and Jesus.
Seriously. I was not prepared to answer so many heavy topics this week.
Eyeball status:
I've decided my eye's just plain tired. After 4 surgeries, it's pretty much on hiatus. I quasi-see out of it, but not like after the YAG procedure. So I've been trying to stay positive. People have so much more to contest with and I am thankful to the Lord for what I have got! I'm hoping it will just heal eventually. I'm more upset about my hairstyle dying on me...
Sunday, November 1, 2009
One Crazy Week...
Monday
Was John's 31st birthday!! Thank you Lord for this sweet man of fun! He had a fishing themed day complete with a brand new fishing pole! Leelah kept trying to spill the beans all week about his present. I learned never to take her shopping with me for anyone's gift as she will totally narc about it to their face.
Tuesday
... was the day of Leelah's preschool Halloween Parade. At first Leelah told me she wanted to be a "cool bat". After I shamefully pretended not to hear her, she decided she wanted to be a blue superhero- Super Leelah it was! I mean really. A bat? I can't do anything with that!?!?!
Wednesday
Was surgery day. It went well. I mean about as good as eyeball sewin' up can go. The vision is still a little hazy and not back up to where it was, but I'm hopeful it will return soon. I go back this week to have them check it again. I'm growing weary of that waiting room. But I really can't stand people that complain about waiting 2 hrs for their once a year visit. Get over yourself and be thankful you go once a year. Sorry. Just had to ventilate. John was the bomb.org and got me some TBS(Tomato Basil Soupe) from La Mad, plus an Orange Vanilla candle from Charming Charlie. Apparently, having eye surgery more than 4 times makes you a diva with many requests. A thank you to all the homies that prayed it up for me! I'm back out in the world and plan to drive tomorrow... Thanks for the meals too! Love it!
Thursday and Friday were both completely stricken from the books for me as I was all knocked out...
Saturday
First we headed over to Rennie Park to hang with the Vine, carve some pumpkins, eat an edible arrangement- whoop!, and have some devo time with the ladies. We love The Vine!
Then the 1st Annual Boo Bash! Thanks James'! We loved every stinkin' minute of it! Leelah had "soooo much fun!" We also started a tradition of the Sugar Witch (Thanks Annette for the idea) where we had her eat all the candy she wanted within reason- and then took the rest and put it out on the porch where the "sugar witch" came to pick it up and replaced it with a candied apple. So Leelah got to see the bag on the porch this morning and tore up that apple after lunch. Next year, we'll probably get her a cool toothbrush from the SW. Good stuff.
Sunday
Pj's and pancakes day at church! Leelah said "I had 3 whole pancakes today and syrup and apple juice" Amen to that!
Thank you Lord for your daily blessings!
Was John's 31st birthday!! Thank you Lord for this sweet man of fun! He had a fishing themed day complete with a brand new fishing pole! Leelah kept trying to spill the beans all week about his present. I learned never to take her shopping with me for anyone's gift as she will totally narc about it to their face.
Tuesday
... was the day of Leelah's preschool Halloween Parade. At first Leelah told me she wanted to be a "cool bat". After I shamefully pretended not to hear her, she decided she wanted to be a blue superhero- Super Leelah it was! I mean really. A bat? I can't do anything with that!?!?!
Wednesday
Was surgery day. It went well. I mean about as good as eyeball sewin' up can go. The vision is still a little hazy and not back up to where it was, but I'm hopeful it will return soon. I go back this week to have them check it again. I'm growing weary of that waiting room. But I really can't stand people that complain about waiting 2 hrs for their once a year visit. Get over yourself and be thankful you go once a year. Sorry. Just had to ventilate. John was the bomb.org and got me some TBS(Tomato Basil Soupe) from La Mad, plus an Orange Vanilla candle from Charming Charlie. Apparently, having eye surgery more than 4 times makes you a diva with many requests. A thank you to all the homies that prayed it up for me! I'm back out in the world and plan to drive tomorrow... Thanks for the meals too! Love it!
Thursday and Friday were both completely stricken from the books for me as I was all knocked out...
Saturday
First we headed over to Rennie Park to hang with the Vine, carve some pumpkins, eat an edible arrangement- whoop!, and have some devo time with the ladies. We love The Vine!
Then the 1st Annual Boo Bash! Thanks James'! We loved every stinkin' minute of it! Leelah had "soooo much fun!" We also started a tradition of the Sugar Witch (Thanks Annette for the idea) where we had her eat all the candy she wanted within reason- and then took the rest and put it out on the porch where the "sugar witch" came to pick it up and replaced it with a candied apple. So Leelah got to see the bag on the porch this morning and tore up that apple after lunch. Next year, we'll probably get her a cool toothbrush from the SW. Good stuff.
Sunday
Pj's and pancakes day at church! Leelah said "I had 3 whole pancakes today and syrup and apple juice" Amen to that!
Thank you Lord for your daily blessings!
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Surgery Tomorrow
I'm going to be a One-Eyed-Purple-People Eater for Halloween this year! Whoop!
Pray it up for us tomorrow as we head to ol' St. Luke's for a first of the morning surgery to reattach the lens which has dropped in the left eye. Please pray for God's will to be done, which means the best outcome possible since He's got it all handled. Since He's in control I'm in no fear and have total peace. I can also say that knowing I will be going completely under so I'm not that brave!! Hey as long as I wake up to some graham crackers and a coke, I'm a-okay.
4 things I'm excited about:
1. Medical Margarita, i.e. pre-anethesia cocktail they IV me. So sue me. I like to get knocked out and they're the only margaritas I drink! You like your eye all mechanically opened up with prongs and poked with sharp stuff!?!? A la Fire in the Sky/Alien abduction like? No. I didn't think so.
2. The aforementioned coke and graham crackers. Maybe tea. I don't know if we'll have time!
3. Praying with the surgeon beforehand. Last time (December Vitrectomy) I prayed with the retina guy and that took a little courage for me. This time different doc whom I've had operate on me before but didn't have the guts to request a prayer. This time- it's on! High five!
4. Possible Terminator red-eye transplant or some cool cyborg eye.
Thanks for all of the prayers and support! Will write once I'm able to let you know what I see. Hoping it will be as good as it was a month ago after the YAG capsultomy procedure which restored my vision after 8 yrs of being gone!
I asked Leelah about why mommy was going to the hospital and what she thought they were going to do to my eye and she said, "sew it up!"
Suck it up. Sew it up. Keep on truckin'.
Pray it up for us tomorrow as we head to ol' St. Luke's for a first of the morning surgery to reattach the lens which has dropped in the left eye. Please pray for God's will to be done, which means the best outcome possible since He's got it all handled. Since He's in control I'm in no fear and have total peace. I can also say that knowing I will be going completely under so I'm not that brave!! Hey as long as I wake up to some graham crackers and a coke, I'm a-okay.
4 things I'm excited about:
1. Medical Margarita, i.e. pre-anethesia cocktail they IV me. So sue me. I like to get knocked out and they're the only margaritas I drink! You like your eye all mechanically opened up with prongs and poked with sharp stuff!?!? A la Fire in the Sky/Alien abduction like? No. I didn't think so.
2. The aforementioned coke and graham crackers. Maybe tea. I don't know if we'll have time!
3. Praying with the surgeon beforehand. Last time (December Vitrectomy) I prayed with the retina guy and that took a little courage for me. This time different doc whom I've had operate on me before but didn't have the guts to request a prayer. This time- it's on! High five!
4. Possible Terminator red-eye transplant or some cool cyborg eye.
Thanks for all of the prayers and support! Will write once I'm able to let you know what I see. Hoping it will be as good as it was a month ago after the YAG capsultomy procedure which restored my vision after 8 yrs of being gone!
I asked Leelah about why mommy was going to the hospital and what she thought they were going to do to my eye and she said, "sew it up!"
Suck it up. Sew it up. Keep on truckin'.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Alas, an October Surgery...
And I thought I was off the hook for a surgery in October...
Friends and Fam,
Today we had a setback in my left eye. This morning my eye went black for a little while, then it started wiggling constantly like it was in water. Needless to say I panicked and called John who was only 10 min from home. He came back and I called the on-call doc who told me to come in asap. After being at the eye doc from 9:00am to 6:30 (we did have a pizza break!) we learned that the lens dropped out of place again and is all wiggly in there. Subluxated again.
The surgeon will be repairing it if possible (most likely will be able to be repaired) by surgery on Wed. the 28th early morning. This surgery should take 1-1.5 hrs and I will be under (yay! a snoozy break!). This won't be as bad as last October's surgery they hope.
Please pray for my vision to be healed once again and for the eyesight to come back. It was so nice to have exactly a month of eyesight! I got all spoiled!
We are so thankful for the quick response and the ability of the docs to fix this. We are confident in whatever God has planned. His will not ours! Thank goodness! I just think of all the people that were born blind today and people that have severe blindness in both eyes. Please use this as a reminder to pray for all visually impaired people. God is so good with His promise. I am very much clinging to the promise of our Kingdom vision and healed bodies- which will be glorious! "Though I sit in darkness, the Lord will be my light."- Micah 7:8
I love you all dearly! Thank you for your prayers! Will let you know how it all goes. Until then I will "see" you around with my half frosted glasses!
At least I have a bedazzled patch!
much love in Christ,
Gillian
p.s. A special thank you to Tina (TV!) for the yummy dinner and dessy!! And thanks for watching my boo. What sweet friends the Lord has blessed us with!
Friends and Fam,
Today we had a setback in my left eye. This morning my eye went black for a little while, then it started wiggling constantly like it was in water. Needless to say I panicked and called John who was only 10 min from home. He came back and I called the on-call doc who told me to come in asap. After being at the eye doc from 9:00am to 6:30 (we did have a pizza break!) we learned that the lens dropped out of place again and is all wiggly in there. Subluxated again.
The surgeon will be repairing it if possible (most likely will be able to be repaired) by surgery on Wed. the 28th early morning. This surgery should take 1-1.5 hrs and I will be under (yay! a snoozy break!). This won't be as bad as last October's surgery they hope.
Please pray for my vision to be healed once again and for the eyesight to come back. It was so nice to have exactly a month of eyesight! I got all spoiled!
We are so thankful for the quick response and the ability of the docs to fix this. We are confident in whatever God has planned. His will not ours! Thank goodness! I just think of all the people that were born blind today and people that have severe blindness in both eyes. Please use this as a reminder to pray for all visually impaired people. God is so good with His promise. I am very much clinging to the promise of our Kingdom vision and healed bodies- which will be glorious! "Though I sit in darkness, the Lord will be my light."- Micah 7:8
I love you all dearly! Thank you for your prayers! Will let you know how it all goes. Until then I will "see" you around with my half frosted glasses!
At least I have a bedazzled patch!
much love in Christ,
Gillian
p.s. A special thank you to Tina (TV!) for the yummy dinner and dessy!! And thanks for watching my boo. What sweet friends the Lord has blessed us with!
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Leelah's Been Committed... (a must read!)
To the Lord! Although check out the "Silly Sunday" pic and your guess about an institution could be right! Our church, Second Baptist (West Campus), puts on an event twice a year known as Parent Child Commitment ceremony. This is where we take our children before the Lord and the church to make it public to raise her in His ways. The church and pastor Young prays with us and it is a mighty sight to see all those babies and sweet families giving their lives to the Lord. It's always one of my favorite Sundays. For a more eloquent and said just right capturing of this moment please check out my friend Kenzie Stanfield's blog on my list "The Stanfield Journey". We were fortunate enough to share in their family's committing of their sweet blessing, Faith Clare! Thank you Giver of many blessings for allowing us to be healthy enough to share in this special moment where your presence is undoubtedly felt. This was the first October I could do this since the last two have involved me recuperating from eye surgery (2008) and from the hyst-y (2007).
And on a completely superficial note: Leelah totally "shut it down" in her Gap dress. I only say Gap because close friends know what it took to get that sucker. Thank you Mystina for the GC! Thank you Lesly for talking me down off the ledge after trying to order it online!
Well let's see what else needs to be posted.....
Oh yeah! SCI. FI. NIGH. Yeah you read that right.
If you live in Katy/Houston and know what a cylon, Dune, and TIE Fighter is you were invited. It was OOC fun! Can I mix a RZ word and nerd party? Whatever, it was awesome. So awesome that I only got pictures of the food that was brought. The invitees were creative. We had an edible deathstar, SOylent Green punch, an alien rice krispie treat cake, Dune cake w/ worms, Gungan crab cakes, Gaaaah (Klingon dish)- spaghetti dyed green, and a shot out to Demolition Man with Taco Bell (did you know they were the only restaurant to survive the franchise wars?). We played sci-fi pictionary which was too easy and a clip show of all our fave sci-fi moments. Mine had to be the Galaxy Quest one! Oh and we had pin the sunglasses on Neo from the Matrix. I'm telling you it was killer.
Leelah loves "Rebeccars". I do too. We made crazy fabulous cowgirl princess hats the other day... Crazy- because they were a little top heavy. We love our friends!!!
Leelah and I made a scarecrow yesterday. Her name is "Scarecrow Sally Walker". She looks like she is from Istanbul circa 1900. We love her. She's rockin' the denim skirt and head wrap. So sassy!
And to end this whole mess of random postings... My vision. Guys hold on to your hats. At the Dr. Lewis appt my vision was corrected to 20-30. IN MY LEFT EYE. I have NEVER seen this well out of it. PRAISE JESUS! 20-400 to 20-30. Take that in. I will wait...... I know. It's glorious news! And still no pain. Thank you merciful Lord!
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Praise the Lord- Eye can see!
Yesterday John drove me down to the ol' Baylor Eye Clinic to see Dr. Lewis. This man is an absolute genius and it's clearly evident how much he enjoys helping people with profound eye diseases and vision impairments. Plus, straight up he's a nerd. I use that in a loving sense of course. He likes to talk about crazy eye diseases you've never heard of and will spout out random periodic elements of chemistry with glee. John's a nerd. Many of my close friends are nerds. I wish I could be a nerd, but alas I'm only at dork status- someone that uses humor (poor albeit) at any given chance w/ spasmadic tendencies. I totally digressed.
So at 8:45 after John drove through a monster-thunderstorm, we arrive. I get in fast only to wait on the ol' pupils to dialate. They hate this! The pupils HATE it and techs waiting on me. So that happens, meaning there will be no way I can read or do anything for the rest of the day. Dr. Lewis pulls out his mad eye-scientist gear and tilts me back to have a look-see. He immediately gets disgruntled at the lack of vision he has into my left eye, stating that it "is seeing through grease". And then declares his disagreement with Dr. Hamill about the whole YAG laser surgery dealy. Look it up if you are a nerd on wikipedia- it's all chemical and crystals and stuff. YAG capsultomy. Okay. So he says the reason my left eye is going in- like crazy now- is that it is shut off since it sees nothing but grease. It's actually a membrane that has closed itself around the lens implant. And let me tell you I do NOT enjoy looking through a dirty window all day. Like Slimer slime all up in my eye. It's Gross. He said there was a good chance that if Hamill lasered it, it would have "stunning" results. Possibly giving me sight in an eye that hasn't had vision due to the lens dropping in over 8 yrs. I can't remember when the lens dropped, sometime in college I noticed it just didn't see anymore.
Finally after a lot of waiting, praying, more dialating, coaxing, pleading, calling, waiting, eating Star Pizza for lunch- score!, more waiting, more prayers, Dr. Hamill gives in to doing the YAG at the end of the day. Which is great, because he usually does it just once a week and he was leaving today for a 2 wk vacay. Side note: He wouldn't tell me where he was going which made me feel like he thought that I would "What about Bob?" him on his vacation. "DOCTOR BOOOOOWES HAAAAAAMILL" He just said, "out west". Whatever. I'm his "problem child" in case you haven't heard. So he does the lasering. I then have to wait for an hour to see if the pressure spiked. I fell asleep and I mean hard on John's shoulder. I think there was droolage. I woke up all kinds of weird-feeling and couldn't see anything due to the drops. So I didn't know then if it worked. Plus, it hurt surprisingly. I mean I love lasers, but that invisible laser did something and it felt like I had real surgery. Weird. There was popping on the inside and I heard it. W.E.I.R.D.
After each step of the long day, John and I would pray. We would pray that God would find us faithful in him. John even prayed that we would have faith in the Lord and His power, not the procedure. I thought that was perfect. So many times I get wrapped up in the doctor's power or the procedure. We are to rely on God. He is our fortress and strength! So this was great to focus on. We prayed that His will be done. NOt our own.
Today I woke up. Friends, Countrymen. I could see. I CAN SEE OUT OF MY LEFT EYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Praise to Jesus! Success!!!!! The colors are amazing. It is SUCH a difference. So much, I'm having to get used to all the contrast. It can be compared to adjusting the contrast and brightness on your monitor. Amazing. I am truly amazed. Now, the vision is not perfect- I am okay with that! The best it will be is 20-50 w/correction. But that is GREAT!!! The right eye is all jealous and stuff that it's all dim now (cataracts, floaters, etc). In due time and if it's God's will that will be fixed. I am praising God for this. The eyes have only crossed a little whereas it was becoming a fixture before. Meaning, the brain is liking it! Thank you to everyone who has been with me on this journey of lost sight. Wow! Thank you guys for your treasured prayers. God is good.
ADDED PART OF THE STORY:
On Wednesday of last week another part of my prayers was answered and this was HUGE. I had been having pain in that crazy left eye for almost a year since the first lensectomy/lens implant in October. They didn't know what the pain was. It had gotten so bad I was crying everyday and eating Motrin and Tylenol PM. John and the doctors felt "helpless". Leelah would grab my hands and say out loud "Lord, please help mommy's eye to feel better". This was a daily occurence. So when I woke up on Wednesday and noticed first how bright the room was, you can imagine my shock when I felt something different. NO PAIN! The pain is gone around and in the eye. After numerous MRIS, Eyebrow injection, drops, etc. all it took was that lasering procedure! Some more praise to the Ultimate Healer!!! Thank you for reading my story of "perse-dang-verence!"
So at 8:45 after John drove through a monster-thunderstorm, we arrive. I get in fast only to wait on the ol' pupils to dialate. They hate this! The pupils HATE it and techs waiting on me. So that happens, meaning there will be no way I can read or do anything for the rest of the day. Dr. Lewis pulls out his mad eye-scientist gear and tilts me back to have a look-see. He immediately gets disgruntled at the lack of vision he has into my left eye, stating that it "is seeing through grease". And then declares his disagreement with Dr. Hamill about the whole YAG laser surgery dealy. Look it up if you are a nerd on wikipedia- it's all chemical and crystals and stuff. YAG capsultomy. Okay. So he says the reason my left eye is going in- like crazy now- is that it is shut off since it sees nothing but grease. It's actually a membrane that has closed itself around the lens implant. And let me tell you I do NOT enjoy looking through a dirty window all day. Like Slimer slime all up in my eye. It's Gross. He said there was a good chance that if Hamill lasered it, it would have "stunning" results. Possibly giving me sight in an eye that hasn't had vision due to the lens dropping in over 8 yrs. I can't remember when the lens dropped, sometime in college I noticed it just didn't see anymore.
Finally after a lot of waiting, praying, more dialating, coaxing, pleading, calling, waiting, eating Star Pizza for lunch- score!, more waiting, more prayers, Dr. Hamill gives in to doing the YAG at the end of the day. Which is great, because he usually does it just once a week and he was leaving today for a 2 wk vacay. Side note: He wouldn't tell me where he was going which made me feel like he thought that I would "What about Bob?" him on his vacation. "DOCTOR BOOOOOWES HAAAAAAMILL" He just said, "out west". Whatever. I'm his "problem child" in case you haven't heard. So he does the lasering. I then have to wait for an hour to see if the pressure spiked. I fell asleep and I mean hard on John's shoulder. I think there was droolage. I woke up all kinds of weird-feeling and couldn't see anything due to the drops. So I didn't know then if it worked. Plus, it hurt surprisingly. I mean I love lasers, but that invisible laser did something and it felt like I had real surgery. Weird. There was popping on the inside and I heard it. W.E.I.R.D.
After each step of the long day, John and I would pray. We would pray that God would find us faithful in him. John even prayed that we would have faith in the Lord and His power, not the procedure. I thought that was perfect. So many times I get wrapped up in the doctor's power or the procedure. We are to rely on God. He is our fortress and strength! So this was great to focus on. We prayed that His will be done. NOt our own.
Today I woke up. Friends, Countrymen. I could see. I CAN SEE OUT OF MY LEFT EYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Praise to Jesus! Success!!!!! The colors are amazing. It is SUCH a difference. So much, I'm having to get used to all the contrast. It can be compared to adjusting the contrast and brightness on your monitor. Amazing. I am truly amazed. Now, the vision is not perfect- I am okay with that! The best it will be is 20-50 w/correction. But that is GREAT!!! The right eye is all jealous and stuff that it's all dim now (cataracts, floaters, etc). In due time and if it's God's will that will be fixed. I am praising God for this. The eyes have only crossed a little whereas it was becoming a fixture before. Meaning, the brain is liking it! Thank you to everyone who has been with me on this journey of lost sight. Wow! Thank you guys for your treasured prayers. God is good.
ADDED PART OF THE STORY:
On Wednesday of last week another part of my prayers was answered and this was HUGE. I had been having pain in that crazy left eye for almost a year since the first lensectomy/lens implant in October. They didn't know what the pain was. It had gotten so bad I was crying everyday and eating Motrin and Tylenol PM. John and the doctors felt "helpless". Leelah would grab my hands and say out loud "Lord, please help mommy's eye to feel better". This was a daily occurence. So when I woke up on Wednesday and noticed first how bright the room was, you can imagine my shock when I felt something different. NO PAIN! The pain is gone around and in the eye. After numerous MRIS, Eyebrow injection, drops, etc. all it took was that lasering procedure! Some more praise to the Ultimate Healer!!! Thank you for reading my story of "perse-dang-verence!"
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Family Portraits by Leelah
Leelah's self portrait. "Leelah with very little fingers"
Mommy's portrait. Note the crazy hair!
Daddy's portrait. Note the lack of hair and the "goateef".
She also draws sharks, jellyfish, and floorplans for multilevel apartment complexes to be built in Dubai. Our kid can draw! And her name isn't Simon.
Oh by the way, this post was done by John. Admit it, you thought that when you realized how awesome it was...
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