Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Talking to Our Six Year Old About Purity...

Yep. It's come to this. Today's the day. Let's talk about six.

We are going to tell Leelah all about how if God desires for her to be married, that He has the dude already picked out and golly bum willikers, he's where it's at because he's being prayed for already and he loves Jesus.
To quote my precious neighbor who said it beautifully to her 3rd grader:
"If he doesn't love Jesus, he doesn't love you!"
Does this boggle your mind that we are even touching the subject of our 6 yr old's future husband? Hey guess what.
The world is way ahead of us on this. They're already forecasting your daughter's future: "good time", "boyfriend", "girlfriend", the unattainable "soulmate", "best friend with benefits"- heck just have them stand in front of a Redbox for 5 minutes!!!, and their "last Friday night."

Why it's time:
As a photographer (thank you Jesus for healing my sight so that I can be!!!), I take photos of all sorts of beautiful people. To me, everyone I shoot is beautiful because they are created by a God who oozes with creativity and doesn't make mistakes.

Truly, truly I say to you that I love people and taking their portrait to display their beauty is something so special to me that I tear up as I write this. That is no joke.

This past weekend, I got to snap some shots for an actor.

 My daughter (she's 6 did I mention?) happened to note (while dropping her fake ice cream cone) that she "really liked his face." She then proceeded to mention, "When will I see him again?"

She is 6- turning 7 soon, but still, 6. And he attends high school.

Sidenote: Please forgive my punctuation mistakes and grammar 'ssues. I placed out of English. There's a lot of ", -, and ()'s in here and that is not my "wheelhouse!"

The Battle is On to Win Your Girl's Heart, Mind and Focus:
Have you taken a spin in Claire's or Justice or Walmart lately?
Do you not see the amount of Beiber shirts, posters, One direction, whoever's hot right now, all at eye level and marketed to our tiny girls? And have you seen anything remotely like that for boys? No. But they have their own set of challenges, which I can't even touch as a girl-mom.


You might not understand or want to fathom that sex is selling to 6 yr olds, but it is.
And you might laugh when your daughter comes home and says "So and so has a boyfriend! *tee hee hee*" But you need to realize if you haven't already, that this is all setting the stage for her future in the arena of: dating, marriage, and waiting. 

As Christian parental units, we need to be praying for God to reveal and then casting God's vision for them and forming their minds- "training them the way they should go" to see that God's plan is so much greater than our theirs or even our own plan for them as parents!!!

We purposely don't have cable and don't watch live broadcasts of local TV because the ads are just disgusting. It's a very blurry line we tow between not over-sheltering her in a prayer closet a la Carrie's mom and not playing HBO in the background of our life. There's a whole mess of stuff in between.

But that's where prayer and seeking God in His Word comes in- SO YOU CAN SEE THE LINE and see the battle that's already being waged for her heart!!!

Even with our hawk-eye, laser-beam focus and all the lessons and all the pumping up we do of substituting the world's trash with God's treasures, Leelah still has eyes to see the beauty that God has made. As well, she should.

 But what she does with this is how we pray and hope to cast a vision for her. 

She has a little mind working overtime to process what she sees and hears at school. And John and I will be darned if we let the fallen world tell her what to do with all that.

Our hope is to attack the boy-crazy-mindset before it even begins. Not so much to talk about sexual purity at this stage, but to cast a vision for our daughter so she can have her sights set on God's plan for her as opposed to the flashing candy the world is shoving down her throat.

Why wait if you don't know what or whom you are waiting for? Am I right?

Let's set this up, Disneyworld style. Hey, I've waited in those lines as a kid for upwards of 2 hours. And it was worth every. stinkin. minute.

The Purity Plan. 
Tonight we are going to be prayed up. My husband and I are going to put on homemade, king and queen crowns. I will do my best to have some sort of special dinner made (and or purchased...).

With an invitation to come join us for a Royal Dinner awaiting for her when I pick her up from school, she will also receive a Princess crown and yes, we will let her bring her sword. She's hardcore like that. She caught a lizard yesterday and it bit the fooey out of her. So yes, this plan could work for a tomboy.

We will sit with fancyfied TV trays (We typcially only sit at the table as a fam) and watch as a family, the King and Queen's wedding video (thanks Uncle Ken!). Leelah's never seen this before. I know I will be bawling like a psycho when I see my dad (who's in Heaven) walk me down the aisle.

We will explain that this is what God has planned for Leelah. Do you see the vision that's being cast?

And then we will read this precious book lent to me from a precious friend:

And then we will most likely answer a dozen questions or none at all - we never know what we are going to get with her!

And then, the key, we will pray with her. For God's Will to be done in her life and NO ONE ELSE'S.

Guys, you cannot let the world dictate to your daughter who and what her love life will be. Whatever "positive" or "negative" things you think the world can provide for her PALES IN COMPARISON to the blinding, sunshine light of truth in God's Word.

I'm not planning on talking about the deed to Leelah tonight. As I see it we are just discussing God's chosen prince for her if He decides that is the route He will have her take. Who knows, she might end up as a missionary/Dr. Dolittle type after it's all said and done!

And then, John and I will have to realize that if we are intentional in our hearts, prayers, actions, words, etc. and if she stumbles (It's a guarantee that "we all stumble.") that we know that that is also covered in God's plan of grace. However, we are praying that God would equip us to equip her to wear the right shoes so to speak so as to make that stumble a trip and not a full-out-fall.

Do you have an older daughter? Let me recommend this awesome book to you:

Vision Focus- What's the "The End" for your little girl?

Instead of our united focus being, "Well she's gonna do _____________ anyway, so let's go ahead and prepare with that end in mind..."
We are going full out in the other direction with this vision for her life based on God's Word.
How dare you parents who assume your child will do the worst!!!
I don't like to shame anyone here. God doesn't use shame. But seriously. You can do better than this! I'm talking to you FDA for making the Plan B drug OTC. And I better stop the ranting as I feel my heartbeat in my throat over that.

Focus on the Do's: 
Instead of focusing on the don'ts right now - which are actually for life saving and not fun stopping- we are going to focus on the do's.
11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.- Jer. 29:11
"Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be."- Matt 6:21
12 Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity.- 1 Tim. 4:12

Have you Given Up?
Do you complain and lament as the lost innocence of girls today, but do nothing to counter that? You can. It's not too late. Please. Let's all unite on this and take our girls back. 

Check out this phenomenal resource list compiled by Kristen over at We Are That Family to see what is out there that breathes life and hope into your daughter in the form of music, books, magazines, fashion, etc. 

No comments: