Here's what I just wrote a friend in an email and since it kind of made me inner-chuckle and because it really explains John being a medical-divo so well- I thought I'd make a blog post outta it!
I haven't forgotten of your logo (backstory: I quietly design logos for people that are awesome). My husband decided to be a divo last
week and get appendicitis. He randomly gets these minor-major illnesses
But trips me up with a man
cold ever so often to completely throw me off my good wife game so when
he's really sick I'm all: "Hey! It's just a freakin' cold! Get over
And then the fever shakes set in....
"Oh wait. You're truly ill."
You didn't need to know all that.
Thanks for letting me be random.
By the by, I'm so very glad I accidentally met this friend that I was writing to. God is so cool like that orchestrating stuff and all.
So John got appendicitis and I can't shut up about it. It was crazy random y'all. It was just like that episode (trying the joke out one more time) of Garfield & Friends (which is on Netflix now- I will win Leelah over so help me...) where Jon Arbuckle gets appendicitis in the middle of the night and Garfield hears him moaning and calls 911.
I guess you could say it was a Special Episode of Garfield & Friends.
I so love that show. I reference it 2-3 times a yr on FB. No one ever gets it. Still staying strong.
You know how when a loved one complains of their stomach hurting and you always ask- WHICH SIDE IS IT!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Well, guess who was the jerk that forgot to ask? This chick. Way to go Wife! I mean, I was tired of asking it to all loved ones all my life and having them say it wasn't the right. So I didn't ask.
Until the morning when I awakened to find John not in bed and talking about how maybe he should drive himself to a clinic.
THEN I asked, "Hey, what side is it?"
"Right." (wince, wince, moan, moan).
"WELL CRAP JOHN GET IN THE CAR DANG IT WHY DIDN'T YOU I'LL GET LEELAH DRESSED AND CALL LISA TO TAKE HER TO SCHOOL JUST SIT DOWN NO YOU CAN'T GO TO A CLINIC THEY DON'T HAVE CATSCANS DON'T YOU KNOW ANYTHING FROM MY MEDICAL CRAP I JUST NEED TO BRUSH MY TEETH SO I CAN TALK TO PEOPLE LEELAH JUST EAT A CEREAL BAR AND WEAR WHATEVER HURRY UP AHHHHHH JOHN YOU WILL NOT DRIVE STOP IT!!!!!!!"
Then calm myself down so the kid doesn't freak.... Breathe.
"Leelah, Daddy's tummy tum hurts. We are going to the dr. and sweet Ms. Lisa is going to walk you to school today. Everything's okay. Just eat the bar and get in the car. Thank you."
So drop the kid like it's hot.
I drive "tactically" to the ER and because I know what they will ask (many rodeos have I had) I start asking him:
"What's your pain level on a scale of 1 to 10?"
A 7 Y'ALL!!!!! What?!?!?!? He didn't sleep at all and it's only a 7???
At that point, I really thought we were going in for what a friend says, "A $3000 poop."
But I didn't nag or interject. I just drove.
We get there and John gets meds that he LOVES. He really started talking a lot, but he's so random all the time anyway there wasn't much of a difference in the talking points.
Silver coins into rings.
A bad dream he had the other day.
Fringe episode speculation.
This and that.
We totally mooch off the hospital's cable for a couple of hours. He gets his catscan fever.
Yup, your appendix is shot the doc says.
Surgery is set up.
Thanks to Tina for bringing me some CFA nuggies, which I respectfully ate far away from John who shant have had food.
Thanks to In-loves for coming in lickety split for support.
And thanks to all the friends who brought food, prayed, watched Leelah, etc. etc. We felt MAJORLY loved. And to use a buzz word going around now, we have some friends who are totally legit.
He gets the 'pendix out and asks the nurses upon recovering, "Where's my Gillie?" Loved that. He said he said "wife" but 2 nurses backed the other term up. :)
We spend the night and I go on a vending machine shopping trip around the hospital at night. Super fun.
The next day, just happened to be me ol' birthday. So let me get this straight. For John's bday he had the 8 hr PE exam. For my bday, we waited in the hospital all the livelong day.
But you know what? Just found out John passed the PE- PRAISES!
And my present, he is well and good. MORE PRAISES!
So that's what's been happening. Normal for the Nichols-
A loose lens,
John's 'pendix shorting out,
Oh and Leelah got a head wound at a Christmas party in between. She's fine, but always instructs us how to brush her hair just so now....
Oh and y'all know I have to have a bday dinner fancy outing, so we went to The Melting Pot on Saturday and wouldn't you know it? We all got food comas and came home and went to bed at 7. It was so slothily disgusting and I'm embarrassed about it... We've decided to only dine there bicentennially.
It's never dull around here!