Budgeting: Battling the Shame-Monster

Today as I renewed our family's E-Meals plans and added a breakfast one to it (and no, I'm not getting anything to endorse or talk about them) I felt that yucky ol' shame-monster attack again.

Does anyone else know what I'm talking about!?
I live with this daily until I remind myself that God does not use shame at all and that that feeling is one of the enemy's fave tactics to use in getting me off track mentally.

"Therefore is now no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus." Romans 8:1

I was told by a wise person that self, you, me can be included in "those in Christ Jesus." Give yourself grace.

SO GO SUCK ON A LEMON SHAME-MONSTER.

Update to our Debt-Free story: 
Well we became debt free (except the house) last year in either March or April (see below post as to why I'm not mentally sound in remembering things right now) and friends, we fell of the wagon just a titch.

Why? The Car.

Oh for the love of Benji and holy things, the car. It's a trap that gets families back into debt I tell you!

I was going to tell you about our urgent need for more space in a vehicle, but it grossed me out to read all the excuses so I deleted that paragraph.

 This is/was a true need.

And with my business, I had supplemented almost all of the amount needed to purchase the used vehicle we had in our sights. Praise upon praise!

Did you happen to catch the "almost all?" So we purchased the new(old) car and still had to finance about 2,000. So we are back in debt right now for $2,000. And I'm sore about it.

There were so many things that persuaded us:

•  time ticking (I think that's always the biggest trap/set up), 
• the true need for more space,
• the availability of the car we wanted (It's pretty popular around these parts which I don't like that it's popular but oh well.)
•  the low(ish) mileage
• ultimately the price. It was thousands less- like $3,000-$5,000 less than every dealership in town.

Guys, don't fall into the trap. We could have saved up money and it would have been fine. Fine.

But there comes in the shame again.

Are we going to pay this off before summer- we hope so and that's our goal!

But back to the E-Meals.

You see along this journey of living as Dave Ramsey says, "Like no one else so you can live like no one else" I have realized that there are things I am NOT skilled at that I must outsource so I will remain a for the most part: calm mom.

Disclaimer: If you are truly in $1,000's of debt- then this might not be something you can do at this point. Look at it as a challenge and attack it with everything you have got along with your spouse and pray like no tomorrow to get it conquered as a team!!!!
IF YOU ARE MARRIED YOU CANNOT DO THIS SOLO. It doesn't work. I'm so sorry. You guys have to be on the same page- a literal budget page.

I suck at planning out meals.
The worst.
Breakfast is a joke. Lunch is such a mish-mash. Dinner - oh wait, that's not thawed out....

It's just not my strong suit. I can barely cook the meals let alone plan out an entire menu. I'm not this lady!:




Or what the hay- her either:


Can I tell you how good it feels to know what you suck at so you can just take that off the "Skills to master list??"

Other things I do not shine at: 
-Gift giving. I once gave someone a pack of gum and sunglasses. And by once I mean this past December. I'm an awful person.
-Clothes shopping. It might help my darling daughter if her mother bought an actual outfit instead of a cute shirt with balloons on it. "But it's got BALLOONS on it!!!" I've really had to learn that I need to buy the entire outfit if I can or else suffer later trying to match and waste time and then start randomingly yelling at the laundry basket.
-Ironing. We budget for dry-cleaning. Why? BECAUSE THIS IS 2014 and husband's work clothes and like Sweet Brown the wise sage says, "Ain't nobody got time for that!" No really, it used to take hours. HOURS.
-My hair. Bless my heart.
I'm on medicine that makes my hair fall out and yours would too if you had a hysterectomy at 26 years old. It's not cute. My fancy shampoo I had to order comes in today. So Katy/Brookshire community get ready to see me like this!:


I guess what my friend's trying to say is (Old School ref.) that you gotta know what you can't do and make peace with that and budget for it. And then keep on budgeting when things get messed up.

It's been years since we started our bi-week budget meetings and we are STILL doing them and we just learned that we need to keep the budget out to make changes when things come up. Y'all we just learned this!!!!!!!!

Like with the buffer amount. Dave Ramsey recommends a zero-balance budget sheet. And we do not do this. We are going off-canon from this because the buffer is there for all the "school fundraisers-spirit-night-tshirt-random-crud" things that happen in 2 weeks.

Beware of the false-sense of security of the buffer- keep a tally on that mess!!!!

I thought these might help a person out who is needing to know a little more about budgeting and the ins and outs and the stuff no one really talks about. Godspeed on your journey! And NO CREDIT CARDS!!!! (We have 1 that we have our ez-tag for our toll road usage and that is it- but we need to change it to just withdraw from our bank acct.!)

Most importantly: Grace.

Debt Free and Lovin' It.

Friends.
Countrymen.
Cheeselovers.
Glasses-wearers, Nonglasses-wearers,
UNITE!

We are debt free now. The monkey, no Gorilla, is off our back. We're dunzo.

To commemorate, we made a fun little video as a family.  We even got the dog involved, so you know it's good.

It's no Lawrence of Arabia or Wizard of Oz or Insert Epic Film Masterpiece Title here, but just a little something.

And we owe it all to first: God and His grace.
Second- Second- Baptist that is because our dear family friends, the Belue's and the Richardson's, led Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover class and our money totally got madeover.
And thank you Mr. Dave Ramsey for following God's call of teaching and for your ministry.

Sidenote: We applied to be on Dave Ramsey's show.
We had plans to drive to Nashville and do our Debt Free Scream from his Financial Peace Plaza Lobby. I made the mistake of pumping Leelah up about it and then asking one of my fave peeps if we could stay at her place along the way (I was most excited about seeing my buddy, shaking Dave's hand, and eating a Martha cookie).

I'm not being facetious when I say that I cry every time I hear a debt free scream. I feel like I'm insta-pals with those families.

So we were denied by Dave because during our debt free journey our Corolla got wrecked by a guy who didn't believe in fixing his brakes- it was 50% totaled - not enough to completely total it. We decided to trade in John's car which was junking down so much we had to bail. We traded that car in and put our tax refund into a CR-V for me, with every intention of paying it off and thank you Lord- we did- we financed it for around $13,000. We had the Corolla repaired which thankfully was covered.

This is a no-no.

According to the Financial Peace/Total Money Makeover plan, we should have made an even trade and gotten whatever car we could pay cash for, which would have been in our case a beater car.

I get it and I respect Dave's plan.

Which is why we have been following, blogging (Just search "frugalicious friday" on my blog), promoting, and living it since Feb. 2008. John and I having budgeting meetings every other Thursday for 5 years (and for the rest of our lives!), going to the bank to get our cash for our envelopes, etc. etc.

Even through paying off 14 surgeries, trips to Mayo Clinic, traumas, etc.

We're trying to be classy about it even though we were kind of let down. Again, we understand that he has a plan and that plan is proven success in teaching families how to achieve financial freedom.

God showed me something, that we don't need man's approval. Yeah, it would have been really cool to meet someone who's become a mentor to our family and to join the other families who have screamed for freedom.
Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.- Galatians 1:10

Scream or no scream, we are still free.
The rich rule over the poor, and the borrower is slave to the lender.- Proverbs 22:7

John and I know each other much more through all the budget communication.
There's no bank-account-balance-fear.
And us 3 Nichols have accomplished a huge goal together through God's lead.

So in August which is when we are set to be able to pay for it and knowing it's when the sun is closest to Orlando, we are planning to make a Disney pilgrimage.
Leelah has no clue. If she did, there'd be some idolizing happening big time.
We are going to pack her bags for her unbeknownst to her, wake her up the next day and say, "Get in the car. We're going to Disneyworld!"

We are saving and budgeting for every step.

Just like Leelah said when she was five to some classmates, "My family and I are going to Disney when we are debt free! And not until then!"

Thank you Jesus and supportive friends. 

Almost Debt Free. Tips!

It's almost:

Guys. Are you sitting down? Standing up? A littlea both? Eating an apple? I love apples. Galas only please. Running? Laying down? In a zero-gravity plane?

I HAVE NEWS.

$1639.89

Um. Yeah. So close I am tearing up.

$1639.89 left until The Nichols are debt free minus the house!

PRAISE JESUS.

This is a victory. A loooooooong road.

Today I want to tell you that YES you can do this. I'm praying for those reading this with tears of defeat or who's spouse just won't be on the same page. I'm praying for you. You guys can do this. There will be healing.

I can't believe I'm even typing that we are about a month and half or so maybe less of being done with debt. Again, still paying the house and utilities of course.

Can I share what helped us? Reverse-pride. Unbragging. Get proud of the ol' tired stuff you are living with- that's what is going to get you to the end. That's what the "gazelle intensity" that Dave Ramsey teaches- is all about.

Non-Flat TVs and NO Cable:
We were/are proud of the non-flat screen in our living room. Do people want to come watch stuff at our house? No, but we don't have cable either and we are proud of that too!
We know and love our true-blue friends that come to our house, because we literally just sit and talk and enjoy them so much!!!
Getting rid of the cable has helped my soul y'all.
John was ticked at first. I mean I told him that I felt convicted about watching a certain show. If it was on, I'd watch it (It was Real Housewives) and it drained my energy and truly made me ill with all the backstabbery/fake crap.
He did NOT want to release cable. So we babystepped it.
And each month went down a package.
And down another package.
And survived.
Until finally, blammo, goodbye.
Now yes, we have netflix and amazon prime- which I use for my biz, Kindle and we stream shows.
After a yr, John was finally cool with it and now LOVES it. It was all his idea anyway....
I LOVE bragging that I don't have cable. Plus, I got friends that do and they invite me over b/c they are amazing. Thank you 'zing friends.

Cars:
Yo. That's my car with the dings, stains, and I'm rockin an '08 with low mileage. And yeah, huszzby is rollin in the Corolla- '05 baby- "Ol Smokey" with the cigarette burns from the previous owner/renters.
And we like it.
We don't feel oppressed because those bad boys are paid off. We know we are "Living like no one else, so we can live like no one else."
We thank God for our vehicles at all.
Be proud of what some might consider a jalopy and know where it's really taking you to- FREEDOM.

Clothes n' Things:
acquaintance: Hey Jillian, cute shirt!
me: Thanks I got it at KCM boutique for $4. It's Ann Taylor Loft!
acquaintance: Whaaaaa????
If I can't score something $10 and under I don't buy it. $15 and under for dresses. I know that is disgusting to some of you.
This is really easy for me because I really don't like trends anyway.
Now I did just buy a yellow backpack for my camera and it was NOT following these rules. Purses do not fit here, because you will be burned by buying cheap since you use it and abuse it. Also, I am realizing that yellow bags are trendy.
I have loved yellow forever so I am plainly stating that I'm not following a trend here.
But know, that there will ALWAYS be cute shirts and things to buy.

Emeals!!!! Yes. They really do help. I didn't like the fact that I have to pay, but I've acquiesced to the fact that my brain doesn't function this way. It pays to pay them think for me so I can save money and eat better by not going out.

Anyone else care to share???

So we have filled out the form to go see Dave for August. We are awaiting their approval. We hope to be on the Aug. 9th show. We will let everyone know!!!!