Thursday, January 31, 2013

Puke Driving. It happened.


Ever wonder to your self, "Self, I wonder what it would be like to puke while driving?" Why of course not! I daresay thinking like that would drive you insane or as the fancy-english folk say- "mad."

But on that infamous Thursday of last week, Two Thousand and Thirteen, I no longer have to wonder what that situation would be like. Because I lived it.

Yes, countrymen and fellow humans, I barfed while driving my CR-V last week.

While some of you might be gasping at my crassness this morning, you know there are some of you that are secretly a little jealous because that means I've got mad tactical driving skills now.

And I forced my husband with his crazy good drawing skillz to comic-ize the whole thing for me.

I promise, I had made several attempts to pull over and my innards tricked me- "Oh body-master we are fine now. Just keep driving! ({"Oh we will show her!!! tee heee heee! She's afraid of sneezing while transporting- but we will make her fear our bilious sludge - yes we will!!!"

It came out of nowhere like the twinkling of an eye. Thankfully the innards had quasi-warned me 2 miles back so I had grabbed a foil pan. ANd thankfully I'm a lazy sort who doesn't clean out her car until I need to hold something else in it- so I had that foil pan in there which, embarrassingly had old cookies in from a service project. Wait!!!!

You have to understand. I will allow 4-5 sweaters and books to stay in the vehicle but I HATE FOOD IN THE CAR so that was actually a freak deal I wasn't aware.

So I dumped the cookies/marshmellows out of the pan and held that pan like a baby with one hand. I guess I wouldn't one-hand-hold a baby but you get the point- and then I drove on trying to make it back to the homestead.

And then I hit the Whole Foods/World Market area and HELLO STARSHINE UP COMES well you know- ALL UP IN THE BABY PAN!

And now, I blogbrag- brog- about it to anyone that will listen.

Thank you for listening.

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