As I finish up my breakfast toast (sounds way cooler when you add "breakfast" in front, right?), I would like to open up a dialogue on: People Pleasing.
Hey, I have a great idea, why don't you take one person (let's call her Nillian) who deals with people pleasing issues, and have her start up a club for little girls with a leadership team of women and go out and serve the Lord. Sounds like a completely fool-proof plan, right? Except for the huge glaring part: "people pleasing issues." And maybe you didn't catch the part where I said, "little girls." I.e. they have parents. So Nillian is going to be, God-willing, ministering to kids.
I don't know about you mamas out there, but if something just a titch off happens to my cub then heck with Mama Bear- I wanna go full on Chimp-Crazy-Mom on someone starting with eye gouging! Nillian better watch out!
Group of girls.
Talkin' 'bout Jesus.
Fancy gold medallions.
Look, this is not a WOE IS MEEEE WAH WAH WAH post. It could be, remember, I have that eye disease- insert pity here please- but it shouldn't be. God has called me (Maybe for laughs in Heaven?) to love on His sweet princesses. And I LOVE it. I LOVE them. Seriously, I have like 65 little daughters now. Not legally, but spiritually.
To please people sounds good, but only in terms of "sounding." Putting that into practical terms makes it impossible. I knew this. I know this. But I am learning it hardcore now.
It's so easy to say, "You can't please everyone." But in my mind, I think I'm not trying to please everyone so that's not my issue.
That's where I'm wrong most days. I try to please: Husband, Daughter, Best Friends, Neighbors, HEB Employees, Seekers, Mom, Father-in-Love, Relatives, Chick-fil-a Employee, Church Ladies, John's Friends, My Dog, All of Leelah's school, etc. etc.
Guess who I actually please out of that bunch most likely? No one.
Well, except maybe the Chick-fil-a employee, they're always happy it's their job.
So let me actually realize a point here- there are people out there who have hated on me in recent times. Straight up: unfriending, unliking, and being narsty. Even people I love dearly as well as people that don't know me from a taco sandwich. Oh wow, Nillian is so perscuted! And I know I'm not a Voice of the Matyr (which is so serious, not funny, and is true persecution).
I have been quietly struggling with why God would choose someone who deals with wanting to control others' perceptions about me (what people pleasing really is). The answer I get back is a verse that is repeated to my heart several times a day.
"For am I now seeking the favor of men, or of God? Or am I striving to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a bond-servant of Christ." Galatians 1:10.
I'm not being fake really. I love people, I'm so sanguine it's not even funny.
My smiles and comments are genuine I pray.
It's when I get those emails, comments, unspokenities, etc.that really smart my heart- that's when I realize that I'm still striving to please men- forget it just women mostly.
God has told me what to do. I have a mission. Blues Brothers anyone? Nillian is doing her dang best.
I need to revisit my truth cards.
For anyone who thinks they might struggle with this, can I recommend a book?
Well okay 3 books?
1. Bible, doy. This is truly the only book you really need.
2. Boundaries- Dr. Townsend and Cloud- life changer.
3. When Pleasing You is Killing Me - http://www.amazon.com/When-Pleasing-You-Is-Killing/dp/0805444890
Other people, even people I love so dearly, should not have the power to ruin my day or my mission.
Something else I LOVE is this guy's 100 Days of Rejection Therapy Blog-
I've only seen a few days or so- if there is something shady on there then I didn't know. But he does state that he is doing 100 days of going out and making crazy requests to get no's to remedy his fear of rejection. I love this idea. Especially day 3 - if that is all you watch then you will be blessed.
Thanks for reading. :) If you were displeased in reading this, then that is your issue. And it's Nillian's fault!