When it came to gift giving, I'd always ask my dad, "What do you want for ________ day?" And his answer was always the same, "Just a hug and a kiss from you!" I was always kind of like, yeah right in my mind. But looking back now that he's gone, I have remembered those words and now see the beautiful logic in them.
When you really love someone, all you really need from them is a hug and a kiss. I mean, do you really need the pomp and circumstance? Do you really need a day to profess your love in some materialistic way? Not judging, just saying I'd take a hug and kiss from a loved one any day over some thing. Especially when that person is no longer on earth.
So John and I are just giving each other a hug and a kiss. And in addition, we are going to give each other something that would speak love in our respective "love languages." What? Have I lost you? If you are my friend, then you've heard me yack on and on about this before. If you have no clue, check out the book entitled, The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. This book is on my Life Changing Books list for sure.
So you read and find out which love language you receive and give in and then it is so much easier to communicate your love towards your mate.
John's an act of service guy. That means in order for me to show him that I love him I should do stuff for him that he always talks about or that is on his mental list. Yes, these people have lists going through their brains. And I am so dense about this that I had to straight out ask him, "what's on your list?" and I was so surprised at his answers. Surprised as in, that's all it takes?
For me, of course, I'm more high-maintenance. I'm "words of affirmation" and or "quality time". I need words daily or I will shrivel up and die emotionally. Or I need to spend one on one time where we connect. I told you, a stuff on the side, high-maintenance type.
So tomorrow for Valentine's Day, I will hopefully get a love letter. And for John, well I need to do a few chores off of his mental list... Girls can be act of service before you get all feminist on me! He just wants me to hang up my towel. That says love to him. I could not believe this. There he was all this time doing the dishes and in his own way professing his love for me, while I was standing there giving him a pep talk- my way. Now we know each other's ways and it has helped so much!