Look. Leelah has gotten 2 tardies so far.
And what does that really mean? I've gotten the tardies. ME. And while my nature wants to put 2 tallies on the ever growing Mom Fail Scorecard, I won't. Jesus won't let me. Phew, must be that whole forgiveness and grace concept thingy-ma-dealy-bobber.
However, the time has come for our sweet little bug to get on the bus. You'd think since it's yellow and synonymous with school, I'd be all for the bus. But alas, it has taken all of God's courage to let her get on it. You see, they are not given tardies. It's a free pass and giggles, apples, and rain boots on that yellow mode of transportation to Learning Land!
So why do my glasses have tear stains? Because I miss her so much. Even that last little bit of driving is a joy. Seeing her think about the upcoming day as she looks out the window and sings along to Mandisa's "Good Morning" jam. Dang, I miss that girl.
Being a parent takes so much courage.
We decided we'd try the busventure on Tuesday morning. We stood there hand in hand at the stop waiting and as it made it's famous half squeal/squeak sound to signify its arrival, Leelah squeezed my hand like crazy and said, "I think maybe when I'm older." And then we walked to school. And I got to continue being the fish "Marlin" from Finding Nemo who wouldn't let his little fish grow up for just a couple more days.
So today while she was eating her oatmeal, I asked her about riding the bus and her response was so sudden- "YES!" So we ran (I gimp jogged), hand in hand to the stop again. But this time as we were running/gimp jogging she let go of my hand and started to run faster. And then on to the bus my little Leelahbug went. And I waved and smiled with an excited, mommy-so-proud smile at my little lamb's new adventure.
And then cried/brisk gimp walked back home. Thank goodness our dog Boo was there. I swear, sometimes that silly Maltipoo is the only little reminder that I'm going to be okay in our nest until the day ends and my loved ones return.
I like to think that this morning, Jesus rode to school right next to my favorite little girl while patting her mommy's back as she showed courage at the bus stop.