Tuesday, August 30, 2011

What's a Mom to Do?



These are Bon-Bons. And no, I can't do this.
No, really I'm seriously asking you: WHAT DO I DO NOW?
Wasn't there a 30 Rock episode where Tina Fey hung out with a bunch of stay at home moms who had a fight club? Maybe I should check the Cinco Ranch Newsletter for a Stay at Home Mothers' Fight Club announcement?

I don't know what to do with this new found freedom, and don't be all snarky, "Oh at least you have free time!!" You all know I'd like more children. It's not like I'm waving my one-child flag high (although I do love that one-child!). But it's been an adjustment. And again, I'm not complaining, I'm seriously trying to figure out what to do with my bad self. So my comrade and I have been doing stuff to fill the empty. And that has been crazy fun. We painted my china cabinet to cheer it up a little...

after:

This picture is showing garish-yellow, but it is actually more of what I've been calling: "rich people yellow" aka "gold".
I also had the idea to surprise our hubbies with a "Devil Wears Prada Lunch" where we just straight up take them a steak. Maybe not from Smith & Wollinsky, but from Outback (See aforementioned "Frugalcious Friday").
And to go to an Art Museum. I heart art. Period.
We also went to my eye doctor. He told me my left eye is still dislocated- the lens implant- but to wait until it gets worse. So that was cool. And he loved meeting my buddy, Tina.

And why did I have to get all convicted and get rid of cable- even local!!!???! Now I have to tv tray it up in my bedroom and watch lunch on my vanity chair by myself. I don't want to be alone at the dining room table. That is tears-fodder. I don't want to cry in my 2 plates of nachos. So I netflix stream it. Or sometimes skip lunch altogether.

And I never realized how playdate-dependent I was. No more playdates. What?

And now, in terms of cleaning, it's serious. No more, "Leelah has been ____ all day so I didn't clean." No kid-scuse. So it's do your job or get a job. And lately the sink is looking very pre-hoarderish.

And volunteering. I'm going for the un-glam positions that aren't all showy. I LOVE helping out during cafeteria time. It's like Kindergarten Cop funny the entire time. Love it. I actually asked a girl if she was serious when she asked for mayo. Ew. I got it for her and tried to smile while I cut it open. All of Heaven laughed that day because I'm founder of the Facebook group: "I hate c.w.s's= creamy white sauces" Come join us!

But I don't want to be all up in Leelah's business at her school. So I'm trying to behind the scenes help as best as I can. While learning all the hierarchy and system in's and out's of public schools and the PTA. I'm nowhere near fitting in with the crowd- see proof:

(Note: Yukon, Longhorn, Marathon runner and Me: Honda, Aggie, 0.0, and handicap) This picture sums it up.
And I have learned that the more kids you have, the more you are taken seriously as a mom. I was pouring coffee at the Tears and Cheers PTA event and the bottom of the Starbucks box fell out. I KEPT ON POURING. I was so mongoose-fierce-intent on getting my coffee (the one true friend there) that I couldn't stop. It was embarrassing- big surprise. I put a plate under it and kept on. Decaf- why bother!!!!!!!!? Did Chuck Norris use that box prior to me? ! !?

Oh and I put this thing together. It came apart one time and hit me in the chin. But it was worth it.


And picking up this sweetie is what I look forward to in the carpool line...

4 comments:

Lesly said...

I love this post!!! I laughed the entire time. Love the comparison of the cars - Lesh and I had a good laugh!!!

The Nichols Fam said...

It's my goal in life to cause a laugh. So glad you enjoyed it!!

Mindee said...

The car comparison was classic! Hilarious!

The Box Office said...

You ARE funny! You can have a playdate and take Blake...any day :)