Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Counting Blessings?

Can I just say I do not feel the best ever?

So I don't want this to be a waaah post. That is gross. That is lame. I need to count my blessings. There are too many to count. Oops, starting to get into a bragging post. Those are even grosser. Am I above writing either? nope.

Yesterday was a slew of doctor's visits. Thank God I can even have doctors at my disposal and an awesome family to take care of my child and take my sorry butt around to the appts. So that's what 3 blessings?

We saw the ortho who must never be named again yesterday. I realized that seeing him fits in perfectly with the definition of insanity and I'm all stocked up on that. Blessing 4.

Thankfully (Blessing 5) I got into see yet another new, fresh orthopedic doc. You see the pain is now winning friends. Hate it. It's winning and it's spreading to other stinking parts. I now feel broke down. Down but not out! Blessing 6.

He was all over it. I pray his zeal for my case continues. The next step is for me to have the triple phase bonescan test with an injection of dye to find: THE BIG C!!! Crap. I really didn't want to play the "do you have the Big C game?" Okay, okay that's not all it's testing. It's testing to see if I have a bone infection (kind of what I'm shooting for) or fractures that do not show up on MRI (call me Mrs. Glass). I go Friday morning to the Bonescan station. Hopefully, I get a turkey leftover sandwich, but I'm not pushy. (Future Blessing 7).

I go back and forth. "Be strong- my heart is stead fast trusting in the Lord, he will not have fear of bad news (Psalm 112:7)" and then "Oh I better start writing out my memoirs to Leelah..." It's the pain. The pain can do a number on you! How awesome it was to hear yesterday from Dr. S- "I do not think you are crazy." HE SAID THAT OF HIS OWN FREE WILL Y'ALL I DIDN'T EVEN ASK HIM THAT!!!!? SIgh (blessing 8).

I promise I don't want to alarm folks. Alas, I have no control over that. I'm a couple of surgeries off from omniscience and mind control... John, man, is the man! He is swamped at work. Swamped at home. It's a wonder he answers the phone at all. He is the man.

Got all lined up with MD Anderson yesterday. See they supposedly have an ortho dept I heard about. But they need a diagnosis. Either way I am sitting pretty (blessing 9) if it turns out I have the BIG C (DUH DUH DUHHHH cue dramatic music) then I am in their system. If I don't, (future blessing 10) then I am all set up with these new ortho docs. I like them! Oh and I have to go to a pain management doctor. What? I told the ortho that I didn't want to live on pain meds! They don't work really. But I was told that this was not debatable until I can get diagnosed and treated I have to fight the pain. And I am not allowed to even try to walk- as the hip could break at any time.

What else is going on.... Hmm.... OH and I have to go to a new neurologist. Brain/nerves. To get that junk ruled out. Blurgh. Oh well, thankful for that. I am a housewife complaining. I hate that. Forgive me Lord. Please turn these complaints into songs of your praise!

Psalm 112:7 Y'all! Happy Thanksgiving!


Leigh said...

prayer for Gillian~
Lord, be with my sweet friend. I ask that you will direct her path and give wisdom to everyone who is helping her. Give her rest and peace. And please take away her pain.

Annette James said...

There is no possible way to express how strong, wonderful, faithful, and amazing you and John are. "Only what you can endure", "you can do what you do because you have to", "what doesn't break you makes you stronger", "it is 10% what happens and 90% how you react to it."...are just a few quotes I think about when I think of you guys. We are praying for you and it won't stop! We love you girl!!! I'm so glad you are getting help it does seem like diagnoses are finally coming your way.

Lezlie said...

"Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will mount up on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary, walk and not be faint."
Praying for your immediate pain relief and peace of mind and body. Also praying for healing and answers. You are truly inspiring others by your faith. Ditto to Annette's quotes.