Thursday, May 20, 2010


What an inspiration! I know I'm late on the bandwagon as I am just now learning about her, but I can't wait to learn more. Especially from a Christian who struggles with seeing, but doesn't struggle with SEEING. If you know what I mean.

The other night John and I watched the Blind Side. Again, late on the bandwagon! But it was so great. I love me an underdog, rags to riches story. They're my favorite really. I don't know how it came up but I was so upset afterwards. I felt so limited and yet so unlimited all at once. I was experiencing spiritual warfare right there in my bedroom. I just got all out of sorts. Poor John. I'm one of those "crumpler" people that are a teensy bit sensitive (sarcastic too...). We started talking about adoption. "But John, we can do it!" I can! Does the Lord want us to adopt? Or is my answer no because of my vision. It is extremely difficult to go to playgrounds without John or close friends to see what and where Leelah goes. That is just one particular example.
How could I keep up with two? Is the enemy putting this in my head or common sense from the Lord?
Sounds like I need to pray more and listen to the Lord. Isn't that the answer for everything? Well, it should be. If the Lord wants us to have more children then our only option is adoption and then it would have to be private or seriously a basket/someone standing (age range doesn't matter) on a door.

But I just had this nagging in my heart. People with physical limitations, in some ways we almost see more clearly than anyone else does.
Excuse me, there is this nit-wit who buzzes his over-loud motorcycle every morning at 7:21 am on our street- today it's at 7:27- he's late!!! ARRRGHHHH that cannot be streetlegal. Where was I?
I mean think about it. When you have cancer or have a family member that does, you really see a lot. You see compassion. You see the Lord in all sorts of ways and people. You see what people think and do when the earthly end is near for them or someone they love.
What have I seen? So many things.
What is pressing most now at my heart to say is that I've seen the Jesus in people. Being a person with low-vision and having a dad graduate to Heaven has helped me do that. Maybe I wouldn't have seen Jesus in people and things as clearly as I did with better vision. It's helped me learned to rest, because honestly I have to. It's helped me learn to take help from others. Did you know not taking help from people is actually not letting the helpers be blessed? You wouldn't want that would you? And boy, are we blessed by it too~! Thank you blessing friends- you are precious to me!
I've learned that when you need rides for a lot of situations, you can learn all about someone simply from being chaffeured. My friends probably think I'm writing a book when they drive me around!
I've learned to be kind, or try to, to every single person. The techs, the nurses, the docs, the receptionists, the waiting room friends, the parking attendant lady, the cleaning crew, etc. Why not? If they can't see someone going through a hardship with God on their side, then what am I doing with this?
I've also learned to not be easily offended. So many people just don't know what to say or do. We, people with the vision, should go easy on them!
Thank you Lord, for your (pro)vision!

A verse that is my friend, "Though I sit in darkness, the Lord will be my light."- Micah 7-8.
p.s. eye procedure number 7 is happening MOnday- please pray for restored vision in the left eye if that is the Lord's will and my acceptance of whatever happens! Thank you!

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