Yesterday was the big day: contacts! They finally came in! Thank you Lord! For those of you just joining in, I have freaky-deaky eye issues that God has been ironing out for me this year by way of surgeries and many, many doctors visits. I've learned that when people inquire about the eye situation I reply with "it's a process" or something to the extent of "I was supposed to be blind by age 19, so things are going really well!" The eye issues are: dislocated lenses (which have been fixed with "big gun surgery" in left eye), cataracts, infection (fixed by vitrectomy surgery), and a whole mess of other minor issues. Let's just say I'm not blind and I'm so very thankful to Jesus.
Yesterday a curve ball came my way that I didn't expect: my left eye is or always has been "lazy". So when made to work, i.e. contacts, it gives up or doesn't align right. It has or got flaky on me through the years of legal blindness it experienced. We discovered this when I put the contact in the left eye and everything looked "fuzzy clear". Objects had outlines. So Shirley, who is great at contact lens fitting and my new eye counselor, got a hold of Dr. Hammy (Hamill) who then saw me and got down to some answers. One being my left eye is lazy because my brain can't decide on a dominant eye to see with. I took the which-eye-is-dominant and failed miserably by having both eyes try to show they were dominant. I asked him had he ever seen someone like this- yeah "you". So that was fun I guess. It's now a waiting game to see if the brain will shut the left eye off again. Basically, after the surgeries and everything the left eye just might not work and it's all up to the brain or to be accurate it's all up to the plan that God has in store for my eyesight. See this is my year of eye rebuilding.
After that long backstory, I get to my point. I'm involved in a new Bible Study at our church called "No Other Gods" by Kelly Minter. I won't do it justice, but it is all about modern day idols and the connection with the first commandment of not to worship any other gods or idols. Forgive my poor summary of both the Bible and this book! So you might be thinking the obvious stuff: money, work, kids, addictions, etc. So far it's been more about our personal idols that are somewhat hard to identify but they are idols nonetheless that are heart-lurkers and rulers of our lives. A part that really hit home with me that I read while in the waiting room at Baylor Eye Clinic was about "forcing an outcome". I almost gasped aloud when I read those words because I constantly do this and was just about to go see the doctor and force the outcome of starting the surgery for my right eye.
If you've been reading this blog you know how badly I want both eyes to be fixed. I have horrible floaters in my right eye due to the dislocated lens and cataract. But the 2 docs won't budge on fixing it yet since the idicators of: lens dropping and or cataract blocking vision have not appeared. The last visit was when I "charmed" them into saying "if you just can't take it anymore then we'll do something". I have been holding on to this belief that surgery was THE answer right NOW to fix this problem of my not being able to stand the floaters, drive long distances, etc. Because I am inconvenienced and distressed I was going to have the doctors "fix" it by golly! Who cares about the conditions they needed to see!
Boy did God do a number on my heart yesterday. It was in the waiting room that I really learned the lesson of WAITING. God will make the conditions appear if or when HE sees fit. And I will WAIT on Him to make that happen. The book referenced the story of Sarah and Abraham and how Sarah was barren and took matters into her own hands by having her husband have a baby with another woman, Hagar. She didn't wait on the Lord for His promise of a child and in turn they received a nice matching set of baggage. No I'm not saying the child was baggage- just all the drama that ensued. I'm not a preacher people, dang!
So thank you Jesus for your wisdom you share with us so freely. Thank you for reading! I highly recommend this study!!! Come Wednesdays if you're in the Houston/Katy area to Second Baptist on S. Fry at 9:30am.