Tuesday, November 8, 2011

What Stuff Should Really Be Called...

In my humble opinion this is what I think of:

Taco Bell should be called "I don't have enough money to eat out and I could make a sandwich at home but I don't want to- place."

The movie and book, The Notebook should be called "The movie/book to watch/read for people that have never had anything really horrible happen to them so as to produce emotions."

Law & Order: SVU should be called "Assaults." (and see above)

Domestic Cats should be called "Animals that would eat you if they were bigger than you."

Lounge Wear should be called "Schlub-time clothes."

Target should be called "Everyone that has breath's happy place."

La Madeleine Restaurant should be called "The place I go to feel like I'm in Europe, or at least, Epcot."

Beach/Mountain/Castle Scenery Calendars should be called "Daydream Fodder Material or The calendar you buy when you really hate where you live/work."

I-Phones should be called "Fancy technological device that my child will throw in a toilet."

Bread and or Cheese should be called "Food I like more than people."

Unicycles should be called "I want to show off-cycles." (We saw a man leisurely riding around on one a couple weekends ago in our neighborhood and I kind of wanted to push him off it in a nice way.)

Tacos should be called "House-Smell-Changers."

Bananas should be called "Lunch-Smell-Ruiners."

Kleenex boxes on the back dash of the backseat of cars should be called "Crazy people cars or Cars that have Cars with Severe Seasonal Allergies passengers."

Today's Ice Cream Truck/Van Drivers should be called "People that will sell you marked up ice cream and possibly a human organ." They are so scary!

That's all I can think of for today. But I'm glad to have gotten that off my chest.


Lesly said...

Ha ha ha ha!!!! Lurve it!! I'm guilty of the Kleenex box! But it's in the floor cause I have an SUV.

Ashley S. said...

Perfection. That's what this post is. I agree with every single thing you said.
And Target should also be called "Yes, I'm there about 4 times a week." (Seven times in the last week.)