The Hardest Post...

As most of you know Heaven welcomed and rejoiced my father's arrival on May 29, 2008 at approx. 9:00pm while I subsequently lost my all time best buddy and earthly daddy, and the world became a bit dimmer.

I write with tears in my eyes friends. Although cheery I may seem, I still deal with many pain pangs every day. Memories of waiting clad in my bathing suit in the laundry room for him to come home from work and enter through the garage so we could go swimming every nght. Memories of trick or treating- "Just one more street Dad!" Missing his phone call every night on his way from work. The thought of his smiling face as he held and played with his most favorite baby girl Leelah Jo. Hearing his army stories. Holding his hand. Going to Methodist hospital again... These are things that break me down.

What gives me hope? Jesus holding my hand. I cannot and will not be able to describe or explain the courage God has given me. All I can tell you is that I'd rather remember him by smiling and laughing and count on Psalms 23:6 truth: "and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever."

Writing has been extremely theraputic for me. I encourage you to do the same in whatever way you can. But the main cure for all of my despair has been the Word. I know I am not doing this witness justice. I can only pray that I extrapulate what is in my heart so others will too have courage and seek God's healing words. He wrote through humans it all out for us friends.

Of course Dr. Ed Young's (Second Baptist Church, Katy, TX) method of "stop and smell the roses" has also worked wonders for me. My roses are my church family friends. I do not literally smell them. That would be weird. But without them I would not have made it through this ordeal. I would not have perished physically but certainly would have emotionally. So thanks to all of you special people for all of your great Christian examples. For taking care of my daughter, husband, mother. For bringing us food. For donating your time and money. And most importantly for your treasured prayers.

To get superficial a little bit of good ol' Project Runway and Hot Tamales ain't too bad for ya either.

Books I recommend for reading: One Year Book of Hope (thank you Brooke), 90 Minutes in Heaven.

On a totally awesome in the correct sense of the word note- I believe my father has visited me in 2 dreams. Both times wearing the same outfit and surrounded by what can only be described as heavenly glow. When I described the outfit he was wearing to my mother she told me "There was no way you could have none those were his favorite shirt and favorite jacket." She was amazed as was I. Ripley's believe that or not, but I thought I would reveal it.

God is so good. http://main.acsevents.org/goto/John.Sardis