What's a Mom to Do?

These are Bon-Bons. And no, I can't do this.
No, really I'm seriously asking you: WHAT DO I DO NOW?
Wasn't there a 30 Rock episode where Tina Fey hung out with a bunch of stay at home moms who had a fight club? Maybe I should check the Cinco Ranch Newsletter for a Stay at Home Mothers' Fight Club announcement?

I don't know what to do with this new found freedom, and don't be all snarky, "Oh at least you have free time!!" You all know I'd like more children. It's not like I'm waving my one-child flag high (although I do love that one-child!). But it's been an adjustment. And again, I'm not complaining, I'm seriously trying to figure out what to do with my bad self. So my comrade and I have been doing stuff to fill the empty. And that has been crazy fun. We painted my china cabinet to cheer it up a little...

after:

This picture is showing garish-yellow, but it is actually more of what I've been calling: "rich people yellow" aka "gold".
I also had the idea to surprise our hubbies with a "Devil Wears Prada Lunch" where we just straight up take them a steak. Maybe not from Smith & Wollinsky, but from Outback (See aforementioned "Frugalcious Friday").
And to go to an Art Museum. I heart art. Period.
We also went to my eye doctor. He told me my left eye is still dislocated- the lens implant- but to wait until it gets worse. So that was cool. And he loved meeting my buddy, Tina.

And why did I have to get all convicted and get rid of cable- even local!!!???! Now I have to tv tray it up in my bedroom and watch lunch on my vanity chair by myself. I don't want to be alone at the dining room table. That is tears-fodder. I don't want to cry in my 2 plates of nachos. So I netflix stream it. Or sometimes skip lunch altogether.

And I never realized how playdate-dependent I was. No more playdates. What?

And now, in terms of cleaning, it's serious. No more, "Leelah has been ____ all day so I didn't clean." No kid-scuse. So it's do your job or get a job. And lately the sink is looking very pre-hoarderish.

And volunteering. I'm going for the un-glam positions that aren't all showy. I LOVE helping out during cafeteria time. It's like Kindergarten Cop funny the entire time. Love it. I actually asked a girl if she was serious when she asked for mayo. Ew. I got it for her and tried to smile while I cut it open. All of Heaven laughed that day because I'm founder of the Facebook group: "I hate c.w.s's= creamy white sauces" Come join us!

But I don't want to be all up in Leelah's business at her school. So I'm trying to behind the scenes help as best as I can. While learning all the hierarchy and system in's and out's of public schools and the PTA. I'm nowhere near fitting in with the crowd- see proof:

(Note: Yukon, Longhorn, Marathon runner and Me: Honda, Aggie, 0.0, and handicap) This picture sums it up.
And I have learned that the more kids you have, the more you are taken seriously as a mom. I was pouring coffee at the Tears and Cheers PTA event and the bottom of the Starbucks box fell out. I KEPT ON POURING. I was so mongoose-fierce-intent on getting my coffee (the one true friend there) that I couldn't stop. It was embarrassing- big surprise. I put a plate under it and kept on. Decaf- why bother!!!!!!!!? Did Chuck Norris use that box prior to me? ! !?

Oh and I put this thing together. It came apart one time and hit me in the chin. But it was worth it.


And picking up this sweetie is what I look forward to in the carpool line...

Frugalicious Friday- No. 2!

This here's my buddy bud, Tina from The Vining Family. She's my comrade in all things: fun, sad, happy, glad, sassy, gassy, classy, fashion, dreckitude, pottytraining, lil' kid drama, and so on and so forth! We can window shop like it's hot all day long and you would not believe the stuff we've seen at a thrift store... I need to round this up as there is really no end... So here's her family's story of financial freedom!

Hey y’all! My name is Tina, and I’m delighted that Gillian has asked me to share postings from time to time on Frugalicious Fridays. My husband and I have been married for nearly 13 years, and 5 years ago, God gave us a most precious miracle, our daughter. Before I get to share some of my frugalicious tidbits on this blog, I thought I’d share my and my husband’s financial struggles and freedoms. Here we go:
When Cory and I married, we both brought debt into the marriage with us… the usual car payment, truck payment, and credit cards. Never did it occur to us that debt was a bad thing. Buy something, and you can pay for it later. Instant gratification! If there was a store out there I frequented, I had their store card. Even a couple of catalog cards. We’d been blinded by the shiny stack of credit cards that peered at us in our wallets—something that society had taught us was sort of a status symbol. Twisted, I know. Then, the inevitable happened. It all caught up with us. We worked second jobs to pay down some of our debt. We were in a somewhat better place, but weren’t out of the woods. Enter, Dave Ramsey and The Total Money Makeover. Changed. Our. Lives. See, we’d spent years paying the “stupid tax” of our own decisions and consequently we would end up paying for those decisions for years and years if we didn’t change our way of living.
Proverbs 22:7 “…the borrower is slave to the lender.”

This post is complete honesty. It hasn’t been the prettiest of roses. (Even Bret Michaels taught us about those thorns.) We worked our tails off to pay down our debt. It was a slow process, and there were times when we got a major “F” in budgeting. But we were determined to the take the “F” out of our “failure” and instead put it back in “freedom”! With God’s guidance and provision we’d been awakened to the feeling of no longer wanting to be a slave to the lender. And here we are today-- NO CREDIT CARDS! With the exception of my reliable vehicle (I do travel a lot with my kiddo) and our house, if we don’t have the cash to pay for it, then we don’t buy it. We don’t live beyond our means. Weird??? Maybe according to worldy standards. Budget? Some would say, “what’s that?” Making our money work for us? “HUH???” Praise be to God for these life lessons!!! It’s cool to “live like no one else”!

Now, does this make me an expert on being frugal? No. But I sure do like to save money any.where.I.can. Will everything I share be a light bulb moment for everyone? No, some things you may already know and be like “duh”. Can this occasional posting provide motivation for others to find frugal living to be fun? I hope so. Do I like asking and answering my own questions? Apparently, yes.
Soooo, thanks to Gillian for asking me to contribute to her fabulous blog! Happy frugalicious living everyone!

Next week we're throwing some tips in your face. Tips that you can use (or look down upon) shamelessly!

Stuff I Wish Someone Had Told Me...

This is a list of junk I had to figure out the hard way...

1. That turd is actually not a bad word. At least, not in my friend circles!

2. That the quietness I wanted for so long is actually going to be the thing you hate when your kid(s) go to school! Shut up quiet!

3. Don't get a Wall Street Journal subscription in college. It won't make you smarter.

4. Those frozen pies, while seemingly convenient, actually take hours to make. Why are you frozen then pies!?

5. Never wear grey on a hot day or to the gym, especially in shorts-form.

6. Having your only child go to their first day of school- easy stuff. Having your only child walk in by themselves on the 2nd-3rd day- well just rip my heart out without anesthetic why don't you?!

7. Don't do the whole coupons thing. Just give up. Driving around for deals spends your time and gas. But do keep a Bed, Bath & Beyond coupy in your glove compartment, just in case you find some amazing bra strap holder-together-er thingy.

8. That Jesus is humorous.

9. Talk about grades with your spouse prior to talking to your kids about grades. It will enlighten you to see their stance on A's and B's.... I didn't know A's and B's aren't supposed to be friends!

10. Try being friends with pretty people and not just assume, "Oh Janizabeth she's got enough friends already." Did you like that name? I did.

11. Pretty sure I didn't appreciate all those trips to Disneyworld growing up or Colorado... Now I'm happy to travel to Lowe's.

12. Don't watch HBO when you're 4-18 years old. You will be messed up in the head from watching the non-made-for-TV-version of Robocop.

13. Mushrooms can be enjoyable to eat!

14. Don't put your kid in gymnastics until you get invited to some other kid's gymnastic party. Otherwise you will pay to have your kid sit/lay down on the floor and watch everyone else. And open gym can be like a class to them- they don't need to know!!!

15. If you respect your life, NEVER go to a foam party. I know someone had a baby in that place. All kinds of narsty. NARSTY!!!

16. Sometimes it's okay to just watch Garfield and Friends on your honeymoon. It's also acceptable to fall down the stairs in your honeymoon suite while saying "GOOOOOOD MORNING" to your groom. And why not go to a bingo hall the night before you get married when you're allergic to smoke, thus causing a sinus infection so severe you cough up portugese man-o-war sized loogies in you cruise ship bathroom? I did! All of that. Too much reality for you?

And my homeslice sent me a link to this list today. It's about the same idea. I promise I was thinking of writing this post before I saw this list though. But why not laugh some more, right?

First Day of Kindergaren- All in Pictures!

Pencil pancakes!!

Frugalicious Friday!! No.1

Look, I'm trying to save some dough. I'm not claiming to be a genius at this, but frugalicious is my way of life. It's my family's way of life. Ever since we started doing Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover plan we are all about the envelope- cash system, the budget meetings, and trying our best to be what he calls "gazelle intense" about paying off our debt and saving money!

We started the plan 3 years ago and since then we've paid off 7 credit cards. Paid off all the medical debt I've incurred (that'd be about 14 surgeries and countless MRI's) all in cash. Paid for a new roof, a/c, refrigerator, and God willing a new shower all in cash. I'm not bragging- I'm saying thank you Lord that we aren't getting any more debt! We have not gotten any more credit cards (PRAISE!). We have been living off a cash-only budget (well sometimes a check card does happen more than I'd like) which John and I are in cahoots together about.

In fact our communication together about money is my favorite part. We meet every 2 weeks the night before payday. We sit down with our calculator and our budget box and our planner and get after it. Oh and first we pray! We pray for His guidance, His wisdom and thank Him for our provisions! And I'm kind of a froot-loop about showing off my envelope wallet. Kind of like I just got plastic surgery implants or something where I constantly want to show people "LOOK AT THESE!(envelopes)" Sorry I got a little crass there.... You knew that would happen!

Okay so on with it! In this inaugural segment of Frugalicious Friday, I'd like to show something I did to save money. My kid's backpack:


Y'all know I have a lion lover in the house. I googled lion backpacks and all I got was either Lion King circa 1990's cruddyness or Detroit Lions fanwear. Wasn't happening! So she's rocking her $4 dollar backpack, purchased at last year's Labor Day Sale at Old Navy and a $1.99 lion applique from the glorious Hobby Lobby. I ironed that bad boy on and didn't look back. Simple.
Total Cost for school backpack= $6.00 Or just $2.00 if you don't count that I purchased the backpack last year!

You could slap a flower with a bejeweled center on there, a cute button, more applique choices, etc.! Easy.

Oh and just wait for next week. Spoiler alert: I'm bringing in one of my most favorite humans on this planet. And she is a true artist in frugaliciousity! Her phone calls and tidbits have saved our family some huge dollar-dollar-bills y'all! So she will help me co-write this segment. Go ahead get to know her and her skills!

My Ramblings on Grace

Grace is something the Lord is gently teaching me, and sometimes I get through complete and utter failure. Which makes it all the more needed and sweet I suppose. Here are some precious moments when I messed up and got the opposite of what I deserved:

I went to daycare. Let's just call it what it was. They didn't have fancy "childhood development NAECAEEHACCDEC" names for it back then. It was straight up daycare. And I remember crying like a howler monkey banshee crossbreed every time I got dropped off. It was hard for me to make friends. I didn't know what to do with myself. This didn't get any better until about 4 years ago (Praise Jesus).

I still remember my very first friend: Tick. Tick was the first person that showed me grace. She was at the daycare too. I was 3-4ish. My dad was battling cancer round one and like I said, it was not easy to make pals. I could blame it on being an only child, but I really think it was just the way I'm bent: quirky. So tough times required me to grow up, ASAP.

Tick liked me without words. I don't think she spoke English very well. It didn't matter. She would play with me and smile. We liked blocks. The other kids were just so uggghhh!!! Running around and terrorizing me and others. One day I got in a squirmish and I faintly remember hitting someone with something in defense or straight up intolerance. Then I felt the immense guilt surge. Oh this feeling of guilt would be one that permeated every moment of my life for the next 27 years until I would start to understand the keyword mentioned above: GRACE. Guilt was the tool the enemy used on my soul day in and day out.

Anyways, back to my bad decision of the smashing a kid. So I smashed the kid and felt sick-awful about it. I mean I didn't bludgeon him or her, but I reacted in anger. Then the teacher told me to go to the principal. I guess they had principals back then in daycare. So I sobbed down the hall to her office. I think it took me 10 minutes to walk 300 ft. I got there and saw a really nice faced older lady. I mean her face glowed like a glow worm. She smiled at me. SMILED. Then she said, "Gillian, do you need a hug?" (I'm tryping- cry-typing as I write). And she proceeded to show me a second, engrained dose of GRACE. I ate that hug up and never, ever forgot it obviously.

I have a besty that I met at Walgreens in middle school. She was yelling for her dad on one aisle and I was on another. 'PAPA!' 'PAPA!' I thought it was funny she was calling him that and I don't remember why, but I jumped around the corner and yelled, 'BABUSHKA!!!' to her. We were 2 peas from then on. I love her and her family. I remember always being welcome at her house. Always seeing a family that loved with ease. Then one day when we were grown up, I did something stupid. Well, I was a fool to her many times before that. I acted on some bad advice, didn't matter because I was the one that acted on it from a trusted family member. I reacted. A thing one tends to do when they aren't walking with Jesus. Do you know what? This super friend showed me some more of that perfect word, GRACE. She wiped the slate clean when she could have held that grudge. I love you Babushka and thank you for the GRACE.

We love to host sweet middle-school age kids from China through our church home, Second Baptist- West. We were hosting two sweet girls and showed them the glory of Hobby Lobby. One of them accidentally broke a crystal cross immediately after she paid for it. She was shaken and about in tears when the sweet cashier told her to get another one. Rose did and I tried to pay for it- not letting Rose attempt to. The cashier told her to just take it without payment. That my friends is our word, GRACE. Beautiful, right?

Only because I've experienced the ultimate favor of GRACE with Jesus and these above do I now know how to apply it to others. Thank you God for this!

Will you please do yourself and others a favor and show some GRACE today to someone? It could be that dude at McD's that's sour faced and slow moving or that crazy mom with hot flashes in the Ross check out line, but please try it out! Warning: it's addicting.

Party of Five

(Teaser Photo to keep you reading all the way through...)

Hello to you! This is Gillian's skeleton writing since her skin/cells/fat/muscle/organ/tissues have incinerated due to her hormone imbalance thus causing something known as, "hot flashes" in Texas summer heat. You can call me "skelly". What's it like just being a skeleton you ask? Well, I don't like to sit in bleachers because it hurts my pelvis. And I have to only shop in the Halloween aisle, which makes purchasing milk a problem...

That's all I got. Hope a little laugh creeped out for you. I did come up with that whilst not sleeping, so if I bombed I'm going to blame the lack of sleep or the hormone imbalance. By the way, I'm off the plant stuff. I went crawling back to my old lady doc and begged her for the synthetics. I even said, "I'm in a bad way!" The natural stuff is great if you have tons of dollar bills to spend on the saliva tests and the meds, but I didn't have time or cash to play around with that! I've got 3 weeks to get back to "normal" on my new spray which should work better than pills. As the NP said, your body has no idea really what is plant based and what is synthetic. I don't know which side I believe, but for now I'm sticking to the fake stuff. What kind of psycho changes their hormone replacement therapy in 100 degree plus heat!? That'd be me.

So on to the cute one. Leelah had her 5th birthday last month! We try alternate between friend parties and family parties each year. This year was a friend party, meaning she could invite her buds. We told her to pick only 5, plus one to grow on and then her cuzzy, Ryan of course!

Here's how the theme picking went down....
me: Leelah, what kind of party do you want?
L: A My Little Pony party!
me: Oh so do you want ponies to come that you all could ride? (We had just been to one of those and I was kind of praying no, i.e. aforementioned budget constraints.)
L: No, I just want to decorate with My Little Ponies. That's all.

The simple sweetness of her wanting to just decorate with her ponies melted my heart. I mean there I was trying to extravagant-ize her wishes and she brought me back down to earth. Thank God for that! So she picked out the party colors of pink and purple and we went full steam ahead on the MLP train and kept it simple at our place, like a glorified playdate with all of her precious girlfriends:


We had a jumping in the clouds activity that involved a trampoline complete with a homemade rainbow to create Ponyville:


And I even busted out a cake! A lot of prayers, advice, and shaky hands and it turned out okay (I have an ugly-cake-baking disease):

And boy howdy, she was really determined to blow those candles out. Future-Leelah, please don't be mad at me for posting this and sorry for mommy also talking about her jacked-up hormones. We love you!
We also did pony-crowns, unicorn making and pinata hitting. Which to me, is always fodder for America's Funniest Home Videos! All the parents screaming of "WATCH OUT!" or "BASH IT enter name here" makes me laugh.


And we are sick people. Well, mostly John and his macabre humor! He totally posed this pic with her and what's left of her pony pinata. I think it's hilarious personally... And no, we didn't tell her anything regarding anything Godfather related. Again, Leelah I'm sorry your parents are dorks.

Public, Private, Home, or Juvie!

Our kid, who got a hold of our camera in secret.... I found them and laughed. Hard. I asked her permission to put these on here.



Am I settled on my blog post about schooling decisions title choice? No. But I need to move on. I guess you could say I was "pun"successful of reaching my pun-every-title-post challenge.

Also unsuccessful at the weekly reading challenge. There! Happy!!? Gloat all you want! I got 3 books in 3 weeks, hey I'm not an editor! But then I slacked with this one: Grace Based Parenting by Tim Kimmel. NOT because it's not fantastic, because it most certainly is. But because it's been kind of nutrageous around here with all the errands and randomness: selling gold, returning recalled turkey, and well, the usual eating cheese.

And before I move on to my blurb about schooling and what I feel God has unveiled and unleashed in my heart, I have to say that having mad, crazy hot flashes when you're 30 in Texas heat is not fun. Let's just say I have had to up the dosage a bit on some hormone levels because I have grown weary of spontaneous combustion. It's a good way to stain your CR-V interior, you know with human carnage, ash, and such.

NOW ON WITH IT!
We are sending our one and only (but are praying about adoption if God should lead us down that path- shhh that's a secret!) Leelah-bug to Kindygarten. This send-off is a big step for us, or just me really. She is going to public school. At the beginning of this year during one of my group therapy sesshes (you know I go there and you know you're jealous!) stuff came out about how I had a rather unpleasant first day experience. I didn't know that was what was producing so much fear in my heart for my sending off my daughter. The whole "DON'T TAKE HER INNOCENCE!!" mindset was a heavy burden to bear. I entertained ideas of maybe private school? To which John declined and I obliged respecting his decision. Well, what about homeschool? A great option, but not the best for my only child who was made to be a ham. Plus, she really needs to learn by being around others to lay off the boss-sauce!

Up until a month ago I felt as if there was a countdown to the apocalypse. Not necessarily the public school thing just the whole idea of releasing her into the wild- public, private, or juvinile detention! And I'm not judging where anyone sends there kid!
My thoughts were all-centered on AUGUST 22ND- JUDGEMENT DAY. And I prayed, prayed, cried, didn't pray, was bitter, prayed, and then finally God spoke to me about His plans for His child:
"Leave her in (public school). I need her there." Whoa.
And instantly, the fear, the sadness was gone.

And then I got convicted in a gentle way of course, but for serious. How dare I assume what happened to me would happen to her? Why am I presumptuously grieving a precious moment - her embarking on an adventure she was born to take?
And that's when the joy started to take over.

Thank you Lord. For filling my heart with joy and excitement. Now, I made sure back when I was in Gloomsville, U.S.A. not to let her know my true heart. I was always thumbs-upping it in front of her and then I'd turn around secretly and make the puke-inducing face to friends. But now I can honestly say that "my face is no longer downcast." - From 1 Samuel 1- great story about waiting and hard times Thank you Gari Meacham, gifted author, teacher and friend, for shedding light and showing the relevance of this hopeful piece of scripture.
So as I was reading Grace Based Parenting, I came across this wonderful paragraph on page 22:

Speaking of fears, if your child attends the public school system, a grace-based family makes it easier for him or her to succeed because you aren't intimidated by the inherent shortcomings inside the public school system. And if you aren't afraid of what's out there, it's a lot easier for your children to thrive apiritually inside the antagonistic environment they might encounter at school.

My whole thought now is this (and John had it first because he's cool like that), she is going to be out in the real world eventually. Why not do her a service and begin it now? It might not be that clear for you. It might be clear your kid should wait to start school, go to a charter school, do unschooling, whatever will set your child(ren) up for success in their adulthood based on how they are made. And God made Leelah sassy for a reason.

So I'm loving the non-downcast look. And praising God for what He has shown me. I don't want to ignite a debate. I'm just thankful to know a little better about the path my child that He has her on, whether I'm for it or against it! And yes, this is subject to change!!

My joyful prayer now is that she will "shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life."- Phlippians 2:14-16

Stuffy Stuff Stuff

Yes, I will find you Blog! Like the Last of the Mohicans ref? I have so much to say. Fridays are good blogging days.

But alas, there's porkloin in my microwave and the time, the time is now! FOR LUNCH!