Praise Sweet Jesus

I can walk again!!!!
Without limping (almost all the time without a limp, but hey I'll take it!)

Good things happening:
1. I can walk again! For the past 2 weeks I've noticed significant improvement in my pain level for my hip. It still hurts every now and then, but NO CRUTCHES, NO WHEELCHAIR! Tomorrow the 28th would have been 7 months of not walking. Can I get a what what!?!?! Thank you Lord for healing me physically and spiritually. My goal was to be walking by the time Leelah started Kindergarten in Sept. So this is just amazing in the truest since of the word. God is just so good, walking or not. I wish I could just go on and on about this moment. But the fact is, God healed me. It's just that simple and complex all at once. I'm thankful!

2. We got a doggy dog!!! Leelah is allergic to: say it with me, "DOGS, CATS, AND JOHNSON GRASS!!!" That was supposed to be said aloud by a huge invisible audience. But we just fell in love with this little darling:

Her name is Boo. We love her. She is a maltipoo which is supposed to by hypoallergenic. We are really praying this will work out for us as we want her to be our forever pet.

3. Staycation!!!!!!!!!!!! We need it. What else can I say. Times have been tough.

On one condition...

Psalm 119:71
It was good for me to be afflicted so that I might learn your decrees.

I really prayed before I wrote this post today.

God has showered me with His grace and understanding this past week. I do mean "showered" in the literal sense, because I had a shower revelation. Moms, know these well with little ones underfoot sometimes your bathroom is your great escape, an ever present fortress of solitude. Or at least it still is for me.

This past July when I became unable to walk due to crazy, sick hip pain, is when I had started to pray for the Lord to show me exactly what unconditional love is and means. I remember praying this about a week before we were to receive our students from China. One of our pastors had explained to us 2 years ago that the best way to witness to others: show them that Jesus-love! Plain and simple.

In my family of origin, unfortunately I feel I received love only due to the degree of my performance. How did this knowledge come to pass- read: The Search for Significance by Robert McGee, but read it only if you want to change! So I knew this hard truth and what was I to do about it? I knew that I believed and, God willing, attempted and attempt to show unconditional love to John and Leelahbug. The whole idea of receiving was where I was just plumb clueless.

A timeline if you will:
Mid-July 2010:My Prayer:

Lord, please help me to get this idea of receiving unconditional love so that I might fully understand why You just love me for no other reason than that I am Yours. Help me to understand this.

Next Week-
Students arrive.
I heard God speak to my heart with the words, "Please know how much I love you."

Same Week-
Insane hip pain began. The doctor MRI's the hip and determined (falsely) that I had a stress fracture in the femoral neck. (this has been ruled out and now determined to be unexplained swelling in the bone marrow of the femoral neck).

From July 2010-Present:
I have had to rely on everyone for all sorts of help: driving me around, watching my kid, many yummy meals, housekeeping, encouragement, going to the store for milk, you name it and Jesus has provided it through my friends. At first, I resisted- wait, wait, I can do stuff!! I got it! No I didn't. Jesus did though.
John has wheeled me all over the country- no kidding! In airports, through blizzards, the Mall of America, etc. To over 20 doctors for answers.
Leelah has had a preschooler's class in anatomy to learn all about how bones work, how MRI's work. She has had so many sweet friends of mine fill in for her and shuttle her around and love her as if she were their own.

I am/was lame. God let me be lame. Lame without any answers really.
All because of this condition is how I learned what unconditional love is and how to receive it.
On this one condition, I have gotten a front row seat at the Jesus Live concert.

This is what He revealed to me this past week. That when you are in the body of Christ, you are loved- period. Doesn't matter what you can give back at that moment. You will get your chance to repay it (as one of my dearest friends always says!)
Thank you Father for this lesson. It was all worth it. Thank you friends for being his teaching instruments.

Before, During and After!

And oh was there singing:
"My hair got cut off and now it's gonna be a wiiiiiig!"
Thank you to a friend of a friend, that's now a friend's daughter for inspiring us!

Nuthin'

No Fusion. XRays were incorrect.
No Ehlers-Danlos Testing. The genetics doc didn't feel I was hypermobile enough to warrant it.
No more findings. The MRI's just showed that silly spot of swelling in the bone marrow they always show- nothing else!

A whole lotta nuthin'.

So the genetics doctor said he'd speak with colleagues and get back to me. The rheumatologist said she'd speak with colleagues and get back to me. She said the next step is for me to visit the pain mgmt doc which I will see on Tuesday for the first time.

In the meantime, I'm still hopeful and feeling better. This past week was terrible in terms of pain. But I think with the temps getting warmer, I should be in for a more comfortable time.

So with the news of nuthin', I remain hopeful in the Lord knowing He will sustain me. I'm thankful for this period of perserverance and maturity building.

Fusion and sailboats.

Yesterday at the grand ol' "Baylo Clinic" the Pops (Father in Love) and I wheeled up to meet the new orthopedic. I think he's number 6 or 7, I've lost count. Good news is he is going to be the guy for me to round out the DOCTOR TEAM to treat my connective tissue issues.
You need a Rheumatologist (freaky, deaky weird stuff docs)- Dr. Bhanusali LOVE HER. I love her! Did I mention that I love her?.
You need an Orthopedic Surgeon, for when you need a joint replacement/hip replacement and I will he says in the not too distant future (I'm thinking at around 40 or so)- Dr. Harrington he says he uses "power tools in surgery!", and you need a A Primary Care Doc (you know for your booger control, i.e. sinuses)- Dr. Chen.
You need an Opthmalogic Team: Dr. Lewis, Dr. Hammil, Dr. Yeu, etc. Baylor Eye Clinic. The best.
So PRAISE the Lord I got them locked down. So the DOCTOR TEAM is complete! I know they are all simultaneously high fiving each other as I speak. GO DOCTOR TEAM!

Oh and did I mention that I'm in HORRENDOUS PAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If you have ever read any of my posts you know I'm hip on the whole Phil. 2:14 "Do everything without grumbling or arguing." Or at least I try. But the pain is now getting all Chuck Norris on my body. The worst is at night. I have retreated back to using Tylenol PM and muscle relaxers.

So I had hip xrays done at the orthopedic's. They were nasty. I screamed and cried and screamed again. My poor Pop had to hold me in position and cheer me on. Thank you Pop. Love ya. And guess what, THEY SHOWED SOMETHIN'!! What, a result? Me? They showed the bones are fusing. Fusion. As in, my bones are growing together. What the whaty what what?!? That's not appropriate! My Sacrum (sp?) is fused to my iliac (sp?) spine bone fused to pelvis bone- and let's not forget there's a crazy "nerve nexus" up in there getting all bent out of shape. It's happening on the right side.

Possible diagnosis: Anklyosing Spondylitis (when your back bones start a fusin' to your pelvis bones!) So I got a cute little handout with good looking people water-skiing and sailing, called, "ANKLYOSING SPONDYLITIS: AN OVERVIEW". Awesome! Why is it that people with crazy diseases are the only ones that are extremely active in life? Where's my sailboat?

Today I had a lower back MRI w/contrast- i.e. let's juice you up in an IV while you're in a tube time. It was fun. Monday I had the hips re-MRI'ed since the results are so confusing.

No results yet. I'm good guys, really. It's like that lame dude those people sent through the roof down to Jesus to be healed. He healed him spiritually first! Spiritually healed. Physical healing is a bonus. Meanwhile, I'm back to being besties with my wheelchair and contemplating decorating her in some fashion. She needs a horn for real.

Funny Thoughts in an MRI tube...

This is my FB status today after my MRI w/contrast of my back:
Thoughts during my date with Mr.I today:1. Wow, I'm so futuristic right now in this MRI tube- would it look like this if I were being cryo-frozen? 2. If I have to choose having coffee breath or having friends, I'd choose the coffee breath. 3. Don't fall asleep and twitch!! 4. What's for dinner? 5. What's for lunch? 6. What's for breakfast tomorrow? 6. You know, having an MRI is kind of like going to the spa.

It's a good thing God gave us senses of humor. Or is that sense of humors? I'm sheepish over my grammar now.

Ahhh Snap!!!

No really, snap is right. I think I might have snapped my ligament where my hip and thigh meet- anguinal?. It happened Tuesday after Bible Study as I bent down in a squat to put something under the sink- SNAP!!! I felt the part that was one become two and it hurt- BAD. Oh and guess what, it was the LEFT LEG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's the other leg. So now, both legs are toe' up! I have an MRI listed as stat of both hips MOnday. It was supposed to be yesterday, but Texas is freaking out with this storm and the blackouts are a rollin' and they didn't want me to end up stuck in an MRI tube and the power go off. WHich you KNOW would happen to me, for sure. So. I got new medicine to try. I got a crazy penguin walk happening, and I'm honestly in shock. I go see a new ('Baylo' Clinic) orthopedic surgeon first thing Monday and he will read the MRI's at the end of the day. Until then, I am laid up. Which is fine, I get to read and eat my 2 favorite things.

Will update with more info on Gimpgate.