The Nothing.

We met with my orthopedic doc today, whom we really like and trust (praise!), and went over the triple phase bonescan (I like saying the full name of it, so sue me!) results. Which were a whole mess of nada, nothing, zip, zilch, etc., etc... He seems to think it's a nerve issue, hence the appt with the neurologist I have on Thursday. Good thing is I've done all the tests they would have me do (EMG, bloodwork) so I just need them to check out my weirdness and hopefully put a name to it and let's treat it already!!! The doctor offered his apologies and the fact that sometimes there is a freakazoid-er, I mean patient- that is the "1 in a 1,000" that just makes them scratch their head at. Yep. Heard that before.

We are also going to see a pain management doctor tomorrow. I am really on the fence about this. I'm uncomfortable with medicine fixing symptoms and not the root cause and I'm drug sensitive. I'm highly allergic to every antibiotic and some other stuff for starters. And I don't like being mentally fogged up. Who does? BUt I understand the severity of untreated pain. I get it. So we'll see. He is an anthesiologist too. I'm a fan of those guys. Remember, I've had 13 surgeries.

Anyways, blah, blah, blah. Naptime is a happenin'. Thank you for your prayers. ! ANd praise for clear scans.

Counting Blessings?

Can I just say I do not feel the best ever?

So I don't want this to be a waaah post. That is gross. That is lame. I need to count my blessings. There are too many to count. Oops, starting to get into a bragging post. Those are even grosser. Am I above writing either? nope.

Yesterday was a slew of doctor's visits. Thank God I can even have doctors at my disposal and an awesome family to take care of my child and take my sorry butt around to the appts. So that's what 3 blessings?

We saw the ortho who must never be named again yesterday. I realized that seeing him fits in perfectly with the definition of insanity and I'm all stocked up on that. Blessing 4.

Thankfully (Blessing 5) I got into see yet another new, fresh orthopedic doc. You see the pain is now winning friends. Hate it. It's winning and it's spreading to other stinking parts. I now feel broke down. Down but not out! Blessing 6.

He was all over it. I pray his zeal for my case continues. The next step is for me to have the triple phase bonescan test with an injection of dye to find: THE BIG C!!! Crap. I really didn't want to play the "do you have the Big C game?" Okay, okay that's not all it's testing. It's testing to see if I have a bone infection (kind of what I'm shooting for) or fractures that do not show up on MRI (call me Mrs. Glass). I go Friday morning to the Bonescan station. Hopefully, I get a turkey leftover sandwich, but I'm not pushy. (Future Blessing 7).

I go back and forth. "Be strong- my heart is stead fast trusting in the Lord, he will not have fear of bad news (Psalm 112:7)" and then "Oh I better start writing out my memoirs to Leelah..." It's the pain. The pain can do a number on you! How awesome it was to hear yesterday from Dr. S- "I do not think you are crazy." HE SAID THAT OF HIS OWN FREE WILL Y'ALL I DIDN'T EVEN ASK HIM THAT!!!!? SIgh (blessing 8).

I promise I don't want to alarm folks. Alas, I have no control over that. I'm a couple of surgeries off from omniscience and mind control... John, man, is the man! He is swamped at work. Swamped at home. It's a wonder he answers the phone at all. He is the man.

Got all lined up with MD Anderson yesterday. See they supposedly have an ortho dept I heard about. But they need a diagnosis. Either way I am sitting pretty (blessing 9) if it turns out I have the BIG C (DUH DUH DUHHHH cue dramatic music) then I am in their system. If I don't, (future blessing 10) then I am all set up with these new ortho docs. I like them! Oh and I have to go to a pain management doctor. What? I told the ortho that I didn't want to live on pain meds! They don't work really. But I was told that this was not debatable until I can get diagnosed and treated I have to fight the pain. And I am not allowed to even try to walk- as the hip could break at any time.

What else is going on.... Hmm.... OH and I have to go to a new neurologist. Brain/nerves. To get that junk ruled out. Blurgh. Oh well, thankful for that. I am a housewife complaining. I hate that. Forgive me Lord. Please turn these complaints into songs of your praise!

Psalm 112:7 Y'all! Happy Thanksgiving!

Mayo Clinic Doctormentary- Day 4- Best one!

This is where we 'tour' up Mayo Clinic!!! Funny times ensue! This is by far the best video yet!!!



Please cut us some slack in regards to our fascination with the snow. WE'RE FROM TEXAS. It's cool to us. Literally!

Mayo Clinic Doctormentary- Day 3...

Mayo Clinic Doctormentary- Day 2 of Yuck

This is the day where John and I got practice in many things: patience, pain tolerance, finding shelter in an ER waiting room, grace to not go ape on doctors that don't get you, and so forth. As I told our pastor via phone: "I about lost my witness!" For real. Tough day. Turns out going to the ER after the hip socket injection was not wise. The pain meds did not work. So what did we learn from this awfulness:
-That even if you don't really know people at all, if they are your fellow family in Christ you can call on them for help! Thanks again to the Sullivan's for the ER McD's delivery and for letting us vent and listening.
-That John is funny even under horrible circumstances.
-That where we were filming there was something called a "Buseum" which apparently is a traveling bus museum that had stuff from the Holocaust on it. We were unable to go see it, but cool concept.
Here is a verse from the Bible that my dear friend Rachel sent me on my facebook page. This pretty much sums it up!:

2 Corinthians 4:7-12
7 But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. 8 We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9 persecuted, but not... abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 10 We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. 11 For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body. 12 So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.

Mayo Clinic Doctormentary- Day One

Mayo Clinic Day 2.. Yucky.

Yesterday was horrendously yucky. Just yuck. It's now paradoxical: it's been the best time and the worst time here. (Sorry Charles Dickens' for ripping you off). It started with an orthopedic surgeon appt and honestly I know better about surgeons. If they don't see something they can fix, they drop you basically. Especially when they are leaving the state the next day as was the case for me.
He found that I am missing cartilage in the hip socket. So he had me get an injection in there with cortisone and some sort of 'caine' and lidocaine. IT HURT Y'ALL. It hurt bad. I cried all day long. I cried all up and down Mayo's marbled floors. I cried and called people for prayer. Thank you for those. It was awful.
I got sent to a surgeon because they thought something might be herniated in my groin area. Nope. She suggested we go to the ER.
We went back to the ortho, but he would not see me.
So with my last breaths (DRAMATIC!) we went to the patient affairs. That place should be called "The place where they break down what doctors say to the patients".
So we then went to the ER. We waited for 8 hours to get pain meds which didn't work. They worked in the since of making me out of it. So I was loopy pain lady.
We got to the 'hometel' at midnight. Poor John had to go back out to get my pain med script filled. He drove everywhere looking for a 24 hr Walgreens. They do not exist in Rochester, MN. bummer rats!

Father, please forgive me placing the doctors on a pedestal. I had hoped with my human abilities I could not put faith in the doctors, but in you. I was wrong. Now I ask for Your Holy Spirit to please let me place all my faith in You instead. Please don't let me live from appt to appt, but let me live in your grace which is sufficient. If it is your will Father, I ask for you to relieve me from this pain so I can live my life the way I am accustomed. Should this not be your will, I ask for acceptance and for you to so boldly show me Your ways which are higher. I thank you for the ones who pray for us. We ask that you would bless them. We pray that no matter what, You are glorified in all of this. We thank you Father for all of this, storm or sunshine. I also ask for You to grant me the grace I need to deal with these people and events. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

Technical Difficulties...

Day One:
Went really well. We had filmed a little something for it, but are having internet connection slow downs in our room which do not make for an easy transfer of videos!

So here's the low down:
-Heart checks out wonderfully- PRAISE!! BUT my cholesterol was 300!!! I am one of those freak people that physically cannot eat fried food due to sans gallbladder, but still have high cholesterol. I do have a love affair with cheese. Sadly, we have to separate for a while. I am so sad about my "break up with cheese" (as Tina called it!). So sad. I had already bought Wisconsin cheese here at the mall of America and had a coupon for free chips and queso from chili's in tow!!!
-The cardiologist was unable to give me a conclusive answer about the connective tissue disorder. He says I have to go see the geneticist which has been moved to Friday.
Today: I am waiting to see the orthopedic surgeon. I had new xrays taken of the spine, pelvis and hip.
Thank you for the prayers. We couldn't ask for more!
And this Mayo Clinic!!! I said it on FB and I will say it again, it is the "Disneyworld of Hospitals and Medical Centers". People here are so friendly, professional, and it's super clean and pretty. A very well oiled machine indeed!!

Mayo Clinic Doctormentary, Intro.

You can't go to Mayo without taking the Mustard

Okay, okay, ENOUGH RIGHT!!?!? I'm going to Mayo Clinic! WE GET IT!! I feel you. I'm almost self-annoyed at myself. But here are my many layers of thought. My onion if you will. That doesn't sound right.

Thoughts on Coldness:
I don't know how to pack for this inevitable coldness. You would think I'm traveling to the arctic with a team of scientists studying the tundra terrain judging from my suitcase's contents. I'm a native Houstonian. We get basically 3 weeks of winter. I'm freezing today with the weather being in the 50's. I think it's kind of asinine to hear people go on and on about stuff like this- but I DON'T DO COLD. I respect people that do though, you are better than I.

Thoughts on Leaving my Leelah:
How long are we going to be there? Well, it started as a 3 hr tour (I had to, my name is Gilli(g)an) or as just a weeklong visit. But with this new leg situation- it looks as though we will be there longer. John and I are betting each other. I say 10 days. He says 5. He is wrong. Oh wait- sorry- LOVE AND RESPECT. He is not wrong. He is just different. Anyway, we are going to miss our little dearest. My wonderful mentor group friends suggested we get her a lovey and spray perfume on it along with a recordable card. We get home with this new unicorn and before I could say "Cabotine" my child had secretly taken my signature fragrance and doused the creature. We all got fragrant induced asthma and had to wash it. Round 2 has been successful. I also printed out a pic of J and me and affixed it with ribbon. I thought this was a GREAT idea- thanks Lucy, Lindsey and Candy! THanks to the sweet caregivers who are going to love on our princess.

Thoughts on the Plane ride and on traveling:
We will have to take Eejay with us- the wheelchair. One bag simply for my medical records and MRI's. My eye chart alone fills up an entire file folder box. FILE. FOLDER. BOX. Jealous? I thought I'd give some of the smartest minds a little help by making an "Eye Surgery Timeline" for them. We will see what they think... But the plane. THe plane. I'm more nervous about the pain! The pain has escalated. It knows, John says. 'It' being my body. It hurts, I say!

Thoughts on Books:
I love to read! Books I'm going to soak up: either Laugh Again by Charles Swindoll or Bonhoffer biography- haven't decided and for the novel, Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers. I am trudging through chapter one. I don't like it. But I've been told by many to hang on.

Thoughts on Thoughts:

He replied, “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”
-Matthew 17:20
This is the 'mustard' that I am referring to. You can't go to Mayo Clinic without taking the mustard seed of faith.

Prayer Pager# is 713/200-0069.
Our church has a wonderful ministry of prayer pagers. The Lord has blessed me with a prayer pager. As you may know, prayer pagers and I go waaaay back. My father accepted Jesus into his heart one month before he graduated to heaven and his prayer pager from church was a HUGE part of that testimony. The pagers are such a powerful way for people to actually see their peeps that are praying for them.
Just in case you are interested- no pressure of course- here's the prayer request list I have:
-Foremost***For God's will to be done in our lives.
-That the Lord would use this condition/situation for HIS glory and that we can be good witnesses through this!
-That if it is in His plan, we get clear answers as to what my condition is, for the connective tissue disorder and for the new found edema in the hip bone marrow.
-That whatever info is found, we can translate that back home to Houston.
-That the Lord would provide a team of docs at home that can carry out our findings.
-That Leelah would not fret about us being gone for so long, but that she would have fun on her sleepovers and enjoy herself!
- a minor note: that the plane rides wouldn't be too painful as my pain has increased a lot and it hurts to sit for long
-And all the praise to Him for the way He has paved the path thus far, for the opportunity to be able to go to Mayo, for all the people that continue to be the hands and feet of Christ for our family!
-Praise for his future provision in all things.
Thanks for all of those who are praying and thanks for the pages already. Good stuff indeed.
We are going to post a video "doctormentary" of each day on here beginning Monday. Stay tuned!