LeeLee, HeeBeeJeeBees & A TeePee!

LeeLee- has been playing! With buds.. Nathaniel, Rebecca, Nana and Poppa and Cousin Ryan- why I missed the pic with them I have NO idea but I do deserve a lashing!

WHY WON'T THEY LOOK AT ME!?!?! Geez...


Rebecca days are fun to the MAX. Rebecca: Princess and Leelah: Superhero. Pretty much says it all...


This is the sweet little boy Leelah thinks she is betrothed to Nathaniel. We'll have to see sweet cheeks what Jesus has planned!

Leelah is psycho for this pointer. PSYCHO. It's fun though!
And
We made her a teepee. I know you're thinking, "Wow that's not from PB? for like $95.00?!"? (Dripping with sarcasm):


Our "Jus' Teasin'" Salon times:
John is such a good sport!!!


IWANNA thank you God for AWANA!!!
Leelah started Cubbies this spring and is LOVING it. It is by far her favorite thing to go to during the week and it has blessed her and us tremendously by giving her the basis for a little witness! She's shared with several people the gospel (on her own) and why Jesus died for us sinners and how he came back to life. She can even tell you what "sin" means and give you an example (eating mom's candy cane- which I have no clue about but whatever she gets it!). She has verses she's memorized with lots of help of course!:)- 4 so far and it's seriously been the best extra-curricular activity for her. I really enjoy doing the assignments with her during the week. She also got her first badge. Okay I'm totally bragging now. Please to see my cutie bear in her "uniform"!


HeeBeeJeeBees:
The shirt happened just as I said!

In case you can't read it: "I'm EYE Maintenance"
Yesterday we saw Dr. Hamill (surgeon) who says "yep" it's coming loose again. Stupid zonules! But nope, he won't operate. I get it. The best surgery is no surgery. So we've changed the quip from, "if it ain't broke, don't fix it!" to: "If it ain't completely broken and hangy-dangly don't fix it!" We know that yeah, it probably will become looser and at that time surgery will be done to reposition the lens. Until then. I'm living on. So I got jello vision in the left "jello jigglers!" and cloudy in the right (thanks cataract!). But hey, things are good! Really. God has me all stocked up with His peace. It's an amazing time for me and I am blessed.

Plus, the Kindle and I are now married. It took some looking into, but it happened in Thailand over the weekend. Sorry I have no pictures! But really though, I've been reading it up!!!

Gift from God through a Friend!!!

God totally answered a prayer (see below post) I had through a sweet friend of mine today. Just when I think oh there's no way I can pray for that or that totally won't happen, God blows me away.
Check out what we at the Nichols' home are celebrating today:

So John comes home with the pizza box and on top of that box is this box:

And this was what was inside!!!

THE BACKSTORY:
My eyes are whackadoodle most days. I'm going back to the surgeon next week in fact because the lens is wiggling- out of place again in the left eye so we will set up another big surgery to reposition it. The right eye has a cataract that is growing daily. My computer is zoomed to 150%+. I have TRIFOCALS on the way. TRIFOCALS!!! But whatev, it's no biggie until you mess with my reading abilities. Which have been the case- especially when I go to the eye doc for HOURS at a time and have both eyes dilated and so I sit there with John- who can read. I sit there and make jokes and sleep. UNTIL TODAY
THE STORY:
When we opened the box I gasped!!! And said, JOHN!! To which he said, "I didn't buy that!" and then we read - John had to because I was too busy happy-weeping at this point- the sweetest note from an amazing friend, Lezlie. Thank you Lezlie for listening to what God put on your heart. I pray you have joy knowing that you personified the "love note" (Captivating book) from God to me. I can't tell you how amazed I was to see this answered prayer in my kitchen tonight! The coolest part is that God had totally been telling her to look into getting some kind of reading contraption for me and then I posted the below post yesterday and it was as if God reaffirmed it for her. WOW! Isn't our God amazing in every sense? Words cannot do this justice. So I must chronicle this Nichols Style: Get ready to laugh... Hopefully...
The Kindle and Me:
Talk to the hand real books!!!

Dining with Ms. Thang:

Fireplace Time with Kindlito:
(white grape don't judge me!)

Us watching Project Runway:

Ahhhh... Nighty Night! What a day- we're tuckered out!


Seriously guys. This is the best. The Kindle for those that don't know is a reader that you can have books on- I know I'm terrible at describing this. Go to Amazon.com. It's so great for low vision people because you can increase the font size to huge and a lot of books have the text to speech option available. I've already been using it up!!! It's just so great. I had been talking with John the other day about my "if I only had a Kindle" dream. And I knew we could not afford it (hey we do Dave Ramsey and aren't ashamed). For what it does, the price is very reasonable especially compared to some low vision devices. And so I prayed. I have never prayed for an actual object like that before and I felt a tinge of guilt about it. But God like the perfect Father He is knows what blessings you need.

Lezlie, again thank you. Thank you Lord for your love that was shown!

Update on Eyegate

All is good on the homefront. Tonight is our 4th installment of the Cookbook Book Club, and let me tell you it's oh so good this book, Captivating!!! What a blessing!

Leelah is coming off of bronchitis- third month in a row. But golly gee, you wouldn't know it as she is a trooper and then some. They finally decided to give her an inhaler. Boy. Those things can really hype a kid up. Whoa. But it helped a lot!

And you should know, that the eye is a jigglin' again. Yes, yes. Gasp! But yeah it appears as if the lens is going to fall for the 3rd time. THis will mean more surgery. Like we didn't already know this was going to happen come on folks! But seriously friends, God's all-transcending peace is upon me full strength. I am good. It is good. And in Heaven I will have some (pardon my crassness) kick-A vision. I'm just sayin'!!!!

I do want a Kindle oh so badly. We do such a good job around here. We don't have GPS's. We don't have an I-anything. We have convex televisions. It's just that I straight up love to read. Love. To. Read. And these whole eyes they just aren't so hot- pending surgeries and new glasses. Oh well, I will dream...

But I do have a special announcement to make: We saw Avatar this weekend!!! See above reference to our lack of technology.
Here are my observations:
Thing of the first:
Those aliens are big. I didn't realize that.
Secondly:
Totally a "party for the eyes" (Thanks Lesly!)
Thirdly:
I never met some glow in the dark that I didn't like. I felt like I was at the roller rink again when they turn off the lights and play "Ghostbuster" by Ray Parker Jr.
Fourth:
I love me a good battle and realistic CG. It was outstanding. Loved it.
Fifth:
I was having issues with the Navi's attire situation or lack thereof. It was distracting. I know I'm lame sounding. But all I could think about was, "How do they battle and fight and ride on horses and such with a thong?" Really.
And Lastly:
Did James Cameron just emotionally punch George Lucas in the face with that movie or what? Just had to say it. Not talking about Star Wars Episodes 4-6 but 1-3. Come on.

will fill you all in on when the next big surgery will be...

I flipped out.

Yesterday was not the best day ever.

Neither was Monday to be full out honest.

Today was nice- it was spent with buds frosting cookies and not at the eye doctors' office as were the two aforementioned days.

I can't write for long, but I know I need to share that yesterday I broke down.

My life is so small. Especially compared to that of what people are enduring in Haiti and all over the world or the U.S. for that matter. I know that. My woes are hardly relevant. So please know I'm aware of my pity party posty. There are truly more important and worse matters out there that we all need to pray for daily.

It should be a spirit of thanksgiving that I write this in, but it is not. I am fearful. Or I was.

So we go to the eye surgeon on Monday to check up on how the YAG laser went. Not well. He says since the capsule is the texture of "leather". The left eye vision is foggy and there is still some pain. The new plan is to wait until April to see if it retracts itself (slowly). That's all we can do. Okay, no problem. It's not what I would want, but it's not in my hands and I'm thankful.

I've been noticing a slight change in my right eye for some time. We go see Dr. Genius (Lewis) my best bud, he says "we can now hear the hoofbeats of the cataract in that eye". So they dilate both. And yes, the cataract is a comin' on in over the right. Okay, no problem. It's not what I would want, but it's not in my hands and I'm thankful.

Um, no. You see yesterday was a taste in the life of what a bilateral legally blind person lives with. And I flipped out. I HATED it. With both eyes dilated for several hours I could not do anything. I am so sorry Lord for complaining before. I am so sorry Lord I'm complaining now. Thank you for loving me through this. I couldn't cook, sew, drive, read, look at the computer, watch T.V., etc. All I could do was eat my feelings in Doritos (Spicy Nacho of course!), cry, and sleep. It was bad folks. Thanks to Mom in love for talking me down. Thank you Tina for cheering me up and driving me and the kid to and from school. You are the best.

I realize now I fell right in the enemy's plot of fear. Face first in. I got so scared. Is this what it will be like for me one day? Will the left eye doesn't heal in time for the right eye to get fixed? Will I ever have to be at this point for an extended period of time? Is this why God made me so over optimistic? I DO NOT WANT TO ENDURE THIS LORD. What do legally blind people do all day? How would I live? I might be being dramatic here, but it's really got me thinking. A great friend and personal mentor of a Christ follower told me today: "You can wonder, but don't worry." GREAT advice. She said that Jenny Owen, blind Christian singer, said that. So I will chew on that nugget of wisdom.

The doc brought up again that my eyes are very "special". That someone with ELeP (Ectopia Lentis et Pupillae) doesn't walk in every day. Well, that's nice I guess?
I'm being smarmy now. Smarmy AND dramatic.

But isn't this what Beth Moore tells you (well if she says it it's got to be Biblical!) to do when faced with a possible trauma in your life? Or when you're living with insane worries? Go there. Say you are afraid of losing _________ or dying. Go there and picture that happening. And then what. God will be with you in that. Keep the Kingdom vision. Stay in the Word.

"In ALL THINGS we are more than conquerors through him who loved us."- Romans 8:37

My prayers are that I would have one eye working the best it possibly can at all times. My fears are both will go bad at once. The enemy knows this. If you let God reveal your fears to you through prayer and the Word, you will know what the enemy will prey upon and go after. THus, you will know that when it feels you are being hit where you are the most vulnerable your fears (marriage, money, family, death, kids, etc.)- you know where it is coming from. Fight back. Stay strong in the armor of knowing the truth. You can either be manipulated or armor yourself with God's help. I know I'm not fully articulating this. I'm not one to preach. I just have to let you know any God given wisdom from personal trials. Hopefully you will hear God speak to your heart over the loudness of your fears.

Well Eye'll Be...

A monkey's uncle!

It didn't work. The YAG that is. At least not yet.

The doc said while he was lasering my eyeball pardon me if this is cursing in the U.K. as it's not here in the U.S., "it's too bloody thick". That would be the capsule growing over the lens to which he is referring. He said we'll probably have to go in and surgically remove it, i.e. full-out surgery, ergo medical margarita + general anesthesia, henceforth a "mommy break". Is it bad that I almost look forward to that? I know, I know, it is bad. From Matrix: "We've become EXCEEDINGLY efficient at it."

Yep. No crazy awesome clear sighted miracles this time. In fact, I think the lasering made it worse (geez Debbie Downer/Eeyore). It's all foggy and bothered now. I return to see the doc this Monday to see about next steps.

I have been feeling the prayers. God has given me all-transcending peace and I just don't mind this outcome. I joke with my friends that having eye surgery is like going to the grocery store for me. It's not a big deal. If I have to have eye surgeries all the time, so what. I just have eye maintenance.OH MY GOSH I WANT A T-SHIRT THAT SAYS "EYE MAINTENANCE" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The sad part comes in when they run out of options. And I don't see that happening! So I'm so thankful for this peace. For the doctors who are trying and won't give up. Thankful that I live only a hop, skip and a tollroad from one of the best medical centers in the U.S.
The saddest part was that I became an old lady last time in the waiting room. I had on my oh-so-hot Solar Shields and I actually brought my crochet stuff while wearing a sweater!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! As soon as I realized it I gasped aloud, "JOHN I'M SO OLD RIGHT NOW!" Plus I have a bad hip. NO LIE. I dislocated my hip in drill team tryouts and kicked my own face in high school. I did make it though. Only to drop out subsequently. I promise I do not make these things up.
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In the meantime, on a car ride to HL Leelah throws out "How did God put me in your tummy?"
SERIOUSLY.
Where's dadddy? At work. Why does he get the easy stuff? But I love it.
I answered with complete nonsensical gibberish:
"God knows how to do magic that is really science. He is really sciency and stuff."
The lamest answer ever. Dude. It was Friday or Thursday. The end of the week. Cut me some!

Cinco Day is Upon Me...

Tomorrow is what I'm calling "Cinco Day" or day of the 5th surgical procedure in my left eye. Dr.Hamill will be performing the long anticipated second YAG Laser in the eye to remove the capsule that has grown over the lens. Again. This stupid capsule or wrapper has been the cause of much pain and loss of vision since October after the 4th surgery where they repositioned the lens.

If any of you ever wanted to know what the dealy-o is with my eye. I've created a storyboard-ish thing for your enlightenment. Enjoy!

This is Me. I am Gillian.

I was not born with mechanically "normal" eyeballs.

These were taken from http://www.99main.com/~charlief/Blindness.htm.
Note the zonules which are cilia (thank you Biology-I KNEW I'D USE THAT WORD AGAIN!!! and I'm reveling in using it!!!) whiplike structures or tiny strands that hold the lens (which filters the light so you can see) in place.
My zonules are "toe up":

The most common cause of lens dislocation is a significant blow to the head. There are people who have ectopia lentis and other symptoms who suffer from Mofrans Syndrome- i.e. Joey Ramone. There are some other freaky deeaky diseases that cause it too. Don't get offended that I called you 'freaky deaky'. But on the extreme end of this extreme lies me. These diseases have all been ruled out, thankfully. I was born this way. I like to find some sort of kudos in the fact that it's EXTREMELY RARE. In fact, after 27 years it just got clinically diagnosed and when Dr. Lewis (super smart eye genius) told me what I have he made sure I wouldn't google it. I did. It only showed pictures of dogs that have it. Go ahead. laugh. I've got old dog eyes.
The Timeline of Surgeries.

What's the situation for someone with dislocated lenses.
1. Well the problem is since it's so rare they have no idea what will end up with my vision.
2. It causes the lens to drop thus causing complete or partial loss of vision as was the case for me prior to lens implant- 1st surgery-big guns surgery fixed it.
3. It causes cataracts. I had my first at age 5, possibly younger.
4. I have poor eyesight that does not correct well.
5. It causes the vitreous (i.e. eye goo) to separate causing terrible floaters I see all the time.
6. It scares most opthamologists.
7. The surgery to fix it is known as "big guns surgery". See above #5. And it has caused me a nasty infection- endopthalmitis which led to the 2nd surgery- vitrectomy or removal of vireous goo and replacement with saline.
8. The above surgery has also caused a stupid capsule to grow over my lens. Twice. It can only be removed with the YAG lasering- tomorrow. The wrapper sucks. It looks like butter smeared over my eye. All day.
9. The lens replacement- big guns surgery- makes you unable to drive or see well at night due to huge sunbursts off of lights. And you can't read up close.
BUT HEY- I'M THANKFUL IT CAN EVEN BE DONE!!!

Okay. Thank you for letting me sneakily complain about this. Like how I circumvented that Bible- no, ? Sorry.

I hope you have enjoyed your lesson on Ectopia Lentis: When Lenses Sag.
I thank you for your prayers.

I share this craziness to show you that even when doctors don't know what the heck is wrong or how to fix you, to have hope in the Lord.
Please heed the unfolding testimony the Lord has given me to share. Whether you have a loved one who has graduated to Heaven from horrific cancer. Whether you've had to endure a hysterectomy due to endometriosis. Or you've got jacked up eyeballs.
It's all in God's hands. And we can take comfort in knowing:
"We know that all things work together for the good for those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose."- Romans 8:28